We are all connected

Today JJ learned about the shootings in Arizona.
He said to me, "mommy, all people are together."
I said, "I don't understand."
He said, "if I am bad to you, then I am bad to me."
I waited.
And he said, "If I hurt you, then I hurt me."

I had told him that all of us are connected. That if I hurt someone, then I am hurting myself. I guess you embraced that lesson.

Bruins Night

Tonight we went to see the Bruins versus the Minnesota Wild.

I have never heard of the Wild. They are either an expansion team or I have been buried in the sand more than I thought I have.

I could tell that you are getting more familiar and comfortable with the whole hockey scene.

You wanted your two hotdogs - one with mustard and one with ketchup - with a root beer soda.

You sang the songs, cheered the cheers and clapped your hands.

We left after second period again because it would be 9:30 when we got home.

But I said that next Saturday, we have a day game and you were so happy that you would be able to see a whole game all the way through.

Quite frankly, I was pretty happy about it, too.

Fortune

My fortune: Many people admire your social and physical appearance

JJ's fortune: Expect a change for the better in job or status in the future

At first I thought we should have switched cookies.

Then I thought about it again and it thought it was a foretelling of his future.

I don't know.
But I found it interesting.

Last Day

Decided to go to animal kingdom again.
Said goodbye to John after checking out.
They went to another expensive hotel and will go to Universal
We have a 7-day park pass so decided to use that instead of spending more money.
It was really sad saying goodbye.

Anyway, we get through Animal Kingdom since we don't have the Kim Family with us. LOL. We walk, eat, do a show, walk eat do a show, repeat and then it's time to leave and then we eat dinner at 8, sleep at midnight. It about killed me!

Tonight, JJ and I agreed we will eat dinner early and go to bed early. Phew!
:o)

The Day After Christmas

We all awoke with a jar to Aunt Mia's alarm which she assured me she heard right away or awoke naturally before it went off. Neither of which happened. In fact, I had to poke Aunt Mia really hard several time at which she bounded out of bed to turn the alarm off.

We went to breakfast and I called Aunt Helen to let them know that we were in the lobby at the appointed hour of 8:15.

She told me that they were "just leaving now." And should be here "in ten minutes" which means 20 minutes in Uncle John Time, IF we are lucky.

Interestingly, Aunt Helen had no issue hearing me over my phone while Uncle John could only hear every 3rd word! I think he's going deaf. Jeez.

So we waiting in the lobby and you watch Disney cartoons on the giant TV.

Uncle John arrives almost 20 minutes later. And off we went to Epcot.

After getting into the park, Uncle John took all our park passes to get the fast pass for Soarin'. When we got there the line was short. So we went ahead and did the ride. Then we had a snack and we did the ride again. It was excellent the second time as well.

Then off to Test Track. Uncle John got us fast passes again and Aunt Mia and I went to Mission Space. It simulates a space mission take off. Uncle John said that when it first opened, two people died of heart attacks. Aunt Mia, of course, wanted to do it. And I got roped into it. Then we found out there was and Orange team which is the original and a new Green Team, which is milder. I wanted to do the Green but Mia and John said Orange. I was outvoted. As I stood in line, I hoped I didn't throw up. Egads!

Well then we sat down. They gave us instructions and they locked us in. The panels came down. And then... The door opened and someone told us about technical difficulties and a fast pass for anytime through Dec 31st. Wow! I was so happy. Aunt Mia, on the other hand, was very annoyed.

We went to Mexico to meet you with Uncle John and the rest of the family.

Then off to the Princess Lunch in Norway. Since it was all new to you, you didn't mind. And besides, all the princesses were beautiful which you enjoyed very much.

After the princess lunch, we went to the test track. I explained to you what all dummies were for and what the drawings on the wall meant. You were very interested in not breaking your knee. I have no idea where that came from. So the ride was pretty good! I liked it and you loved it!

Then it was time to go to see the countries. First to Norway to ride the Maelstrom. No idea what it was because I sat this one out and waited in the store where you'd be coming out after the ride.

All day, I'd been dealing with a cramping stomach. I think that it was last night's buffet meal where I ate in excess. And since I haven't eaten like that, my body was rebelling. And then I added the Princess Lunch where I didn't eat much but I thought afterwards, I shouldn't have eaten at all.

So I waited in line with you until you went in, told you to be good and to stop the ghetto dancing (really) and said I'd meet you when you came out.

Then we went to China and you made no reaction. Uncle John and Aunt Helen were surprised so I explained that although you're from China, you had very little exposure to China as a country or a culture. Then they understood.

After that, off to Japan where we got some gummy candies.

It was freezing with the water blowing off the water and so high tailed it out of there to Downtown Disney.

We hit the bathroom at T-Rex which is like the Rainforest Cafe except only with dinosaurs and much louder, if you can imagine that. And then off to the World of Disney to get some shopping.

You picked out gifts for people and for sharing and a couple of hats for yourself. You were perfectly happy with the Mickey Mouse ears until I told you that you couldn't wear them all the time. So picked out a baseball cap for everyday wear. LOL.

Then out of the mayhem, through the cold, to the car and off to dinner at Amura, a Japanese Korean restaurant the Uncle John and Aunt Helen like to go to whenever they're here, which is at least once a year, if not twice. Really. They come here that much.

After dinner, Uncle John drove us back to our hotel. Aunt Mia is leaving in the morning so there was a round of goodbyes. But since we are leaving in the afternoon, we will be seeing them around noon when they come by to get our two 7-day tickets. Why waste perfectly good and perfectly expensive tickets, right?

Of course there is a lot of snow in Boston right now. So we'll see if you and I fly out tomorrow. Can't change Mother Nature so I'm not stressing. Worst case is we camp out at the airport. Best case is that we get a hotel room.

Merry Christmas

It was a wonderful day today.
I guess the only thing that would have made it perfect would have been your Daddy being with us.

This morning, we woke up around 7. And we got ready for the day. We had breakfast in Mara again. $21 for the three of us sure beat the $21 per person breakfast buffet in Boma! Mara is such a great little find!

We took the bus and headed to the Magic Kingdom. It was interesting since you didn't know what Disney was or any of the pop culture of Mickey, Minnie and all the other characters. I think to you it first seemed like a busy place with so much new, in fact everything was new, to you that you were just sort of in a daze without understanding any of it. I hope you don't think it's another town in America. I want you to know how special this place is.

We started on Main Street. We spied out some gifts for Ye Ye, Nai Nai, your class For Sharing Day, Emma, Rachel, etc. Daddy was kind of hard since you said he likes the iPhone and FOOTBALL!!! I said we'd keep looking.

Then we hit Tomorrow Land. And we did the Laugh Factory. I was skeptical but it was really funny. Unfortunately, while you thought it was funny in your own way, you didn't really understand what the rest of us were laughing at.

Then we discovered the beauty if the Fast Pass where you register for a ride and they tell you when to come back. You get to go into a special line that zips you through without waiting in a long line.

And let me tell you about the lines. OH MY! They were LONG. And it was complete MAYHEM. So many people! On Christmas! Who knew??

We rode the People Mover and saw the Carousel of Progress which I narrated for you as we went because you didn't know anything about retro America. You did a great job of trying to understand it all.

We also rode the Mad Hatter Party teacup ride.

We then met Uncle John, Aunt Helen, cousins Gina and Hannah at the Peter Pan ride. We didn't do the ride. We had lunch instead.

Your meeting with Hannah and Gina was interesting. You turned 3 shades of pink and didn't talk for a few hours. I explained that it was because you thought they were so beautiful and had been waiting to meet them since the first day he saw their pictures. Other than Niles's sister, Celina, you haven't said anyone else is beautiful other than Hannah and Gina. I told Aunt Mia at least I wasn't too worried about you bringing home an ugly girl! LOL.

After lunch we went to see the PhilharMagic which was 3D and pretty surprisingly good! After that we went to Adventure Land and road the Jungle Cruise and then the Pirates of the Carribean.

With snack, bathroom breaks, hanging out, etc, that took up most of the day.

And somewhere in between, you and Gina became fast friends, holding hands through the park, and playing rocks, paper, scissors. You also played with Hannah and took good care of her. I took a couple of really good picture of you guys, one of which you said you wanted and which I will frame for the house.

Around 5:30, we decided to go to Downtown Disney. So we took the ferry boat over to the parking lot trams. Before we boarded the ferry, I took some pretty panaramic pictures of the Grand Floridian where your Daddy and I stayed one year when we brought Ye Ye and Nai Nai to Disney World. We will come here again with Ye Ye and Nai Nai one day so they can enjoy the parks with you!

By the time we got to the car, it was 6:15pm. I knew going to Downtown Disney was either unrealistic or ill-advised so we ended up back at our resort and we all had a fabulous buffet at Boma. Uncle John treated us to dinner. That was so nice of him!

Then it was back to the room and into bed for you at 8:30pm. Just in time!

I knew early on you liked the Magic Kingdom because you said "next year, we come back.". The first time was on Main Street around 10am! And then a couple more times during the day. I finally said, "maybe. And maybe we bring Ye Ye and Nai Nai next time.". And you thought that would be a good thing to do!

And You're Going to Disney!

Today, you and Mommy flew to Disney World. Mommy and Daddy told you about it at dinner last night. You were excited. But you weren't as excited as you would have been if you actually knew what Disney is.

We took Jetblue. And at check in, we were so nice that the ticket agent gave us premium seats in row 2 without charging us an upgrade fee! She said we were so nice that she wanted to give us a present. That meant we were first on and first off the plane. Wow. Merry Christmas to us!

We checked into the Animal Kingdom Lodge in a Savannah Overlook look. And when we got into our room, there was a big picture glass window. And through it we saw a giraffe, wildebeasts and zebras. We saw animals all along the windows as we roamed the hotel lobby and the hallways!

We took pictures with Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse in front of the big holiday tree. And then you had a picture taken in Santa's big chair. He wasn't there to see it!

We went downstairs to Mara and had some snacks. And when we went upstairs we saw Santa!! Wow! So we stood in line and you had a picture taken with Santa. And you asked him for a race car. Then we took a picture of you, me and Santa all together. It was so much fun! Good thing Mommy got her camera fixed! We won't tell Santa that you sat in his chair, either.

Then we went to the Animal Kingdom to get our tickets to the parks. We went there because it's the closest to our hotel. We also talked to Aunt Mia who had just landed and was headed back to the hotel.

While we waited in line for the hotel bus, you struck up a friendship with the nice lady in line next to us. She told you all about the meerkats that reminded her of ferrets. Of course, you had no idea what she was talking about. Lol. But you told her that your favorite animal was the giraffe, which you saw outside the hotel room window.

The bus was crowded. Standing room only. I put you on my lap and let and older lady take my seat. Halfway to the hotel, Mommy's phone fell out of her pocket and dropped to the floor. And as we looked for it in the dark, a little girl in front of us picked it up by the light of her sister's iPhone and gave it to me.

You looked at me and said, "you help the lady and she (pointing to the little girl) helped you."
I said, "yes she did. So nice, wasn't it?"
And you said, "all the people in the world help each other. No bad people."

We got to the hotel and waited for Aunt Mia. Neither of us were hungry.

Aunt Mia showed up and we went to the room and chatted with her while she unpacked. She gave you a huge, tight hug when she first saw you.

Aunt Mia unpacked and talked to Uncle John on the phone. Then we went back to Mara for a quick bite. I still wasn't hungry. But you decided to get the flat bread pizza which was quite tasty.

Then we sat and talked and waited for Uncle John. Because that's what we always do - wait for Uncle John. And you will find out just how true that is.

And you will also notice that Aunt Mia eats all day long. Tiny little portions. But it's constant. And not exactly nutritious.

Did I mention we waited a long time for Uncle John? Hmm. Yup. We did. Didn't want to leave that out.

So after waiting for Uncle John, we decided to go up to the lobby and call him. At 8:30, he and Aunt Mia went back and forth on the phone for 15 minutes until Aunt Mia hung up on him. He was 30 minutes away still and I was too tired and you had to go to bed because as a morning kid, I knew you'd get up early even if you went to bed late and with the cough you have - well, I wanted you to get some rest!

So round and round went Aunt Mia and Uncle John. Will we meet in a park? Where in the park? In the lobby? Can he come to the lobby because he can't decide which park or where etc etc etc.

After a very deep breath, Aunt Mia went outside to call Uncle John again to get a better cell signal. Oh my goodness. Evidently he'd just been yelling at her telling her he can't hear her and that my phone coverage sucks. Uh...It not MY phone! LOL.

That's the other thing about Uncle John. He is very disorganized and late to everything.

So in the end, Uncle John suggested what Aunt Mia and I were thinking all along, which is that WE'D get up and do whatever. And they can do whatever. And then we can call each other and sync up and meet wherever. Totally casual, which is what Aunt Mia and I like to do.

Needless to say, we all went to bed late.

Tomorrow we will try to visit Magic Kingdom. And if they are at capacity early which is the rumor, then we will got to Hollywood or Epcot. No worries!

Yin Yu Tang House

Today we visited the Peabody Essex Museum and visited the Yin Yu Tang House.
Aunt Lilly told Mommy about it and then I read about it and wanted to go.
I thought you would enjoy it as well since it was Chinese.

The house had been brought over from China piece by piece and then put together exactly as it had stood in China. In fact, when they first put the courtyard together, the floors were too even so they had to take it all apart and put it back together again with uneven floors. That was very interesting to hear.

We visited the rooms and for the first time, you saw the inside of a Chinese family house. Actually, it was your second Chinese family house because you had been in your second mommy's house in Shanghai when you were adopted there. I haven't asked if that house looked the same as this house we saw.

I explained a lot of things to you and I think you understood most of it.

After seeing the house, we had lunch in the courtyard cafe. We had sandwiches, which you liked.

Then, we saw an exhibit of the artifacts from the Forbidden City brought all the way over from China. You didn't seem that interested in this exhibit. I think it's because everything was behind glass and you like to touch things. In the house, you could actually sit inside the rooms and touch some things so it was more intersting to you. Anyway, I also don't think you could relate to what the artifacts actually represented since you were not told anything about Chinese history, only about Chairman Mao. And even then, it was just a tiny little bit and a song you sang.

Afterwards, you wanted to roam the halls and rooms full of other exhibits. So we pretty much stayed the whole day and saw pretty much everything. You were interested in EVERYTHING. I was facinated with your fascination.

Then we drove home.
And on the way, you told me that it was a very good day.
A very very good day.
And you had a really really good time.

I was so happy.

A Full Day

Well, we didn't go visit Auntie Amanda after all. Instead we stayed home and did all sorts of stuff together.

We broke down the big cardboard boxes that the shed came in. You watched me for a while and then you proclaimed that you had a better idea and you could do it faster, etc. So I gave you one of the large boxes you went at it.

And at it. And at it. And...

I looked up and you were trying to fold the cardboard into the size of a shopping bag. Uhhhh.... Ummmm.... I don't think that's going to work. We ended up unfolding it and cutting it up the old fashioned way along with the the rest of the boxes that I had done. You learned that Mommy is pretty smart and pretty strong.

We raked the leaves in the driveway by the side of the house and the front lawn. You showed me how to open the far end of the leaf bag by putting it over your head. I showed you how to do it by grabbing the far end and pulling. You thought that was pretty neat.

We got your hair cut. We went to Domani around the corner and when we entered, you said really loudly, "I want a girl." That was pretty funny. We ended up with a 1pm appointment, just enough time for lunch. We went to Anna's for lunch and then back to Domani. And yup. They remembered and gave you a girl. Gula did a great job. Short in the back and sides, a little longer at the top of the head and then longer in front. You looked so handsome! Very fashionable. All the women raved.

You played soccer in the back yard and made a track by raking the leaves into an oval. Then you kicked the ball around and around the track. At one point, you abandoned the soccer ball and ran to all the countries you know about - America, China, Korean, Japan, Canada. The tree was America. And the cincerblocks by the house was Canada. You declared you had to run fast across the ocean (the lawn) to get to Canada. Later, we can talk about how Canada and America are connected and you don't have to cross an ocean!

You said you wanted to do spelling homework. And we sat at the table and went over your spelling list. You have problems with vowels. And I explained that each vowel makes between 3 or 4 sounds. And if you put two vowels together, they sound like one vowel. I told you that every word has at least one vowel so you need to learn them at some point. You said, "oh, maaaannnnnnn." Yup. It was pretty funny. But with practice you will get it. And over time you will memorize all the words. For a kid that is an experiential, tactile learner, I know it will be hard for you. But you will get it.

I made Korean tofu stew for dinner. And you loved it. You sang the song I taught you, "yummy yummy yummy, in my tummy tummy tummy." And then you would rub your belly. You said you love Korean food. And then you remembered the Korean word for "delicious" and said it over and over again. Afterwards, you sat back and proclaimed, "I love Korean food. I am so happy!" That filled my heart and I was so happy, too.

Aunt Anne came to stay for the night with a friend. So you gave her a big hug.
She invited us to dinner but we decided to stay in. Sitting down to dinner, you proclaimed, "so quiet. I don't like so many people. Too much noice." It was pretty funny.

We sat and watched TV before you went to bed. This is becoming a ritual. We snuggle together on one of the couches and we watch a cartoon or a cooking show, your choice, and then you go to bed.

It was really a full day.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

It's You and Me, Kiddo

Daddy went to Philly to run a race with 30 of his best tri friends. Aunt Judi is also running the marathon there and so Daddy thought he would go and support her. He left this afternoon straight from the office but he said he would call you every night. He is really good like that.

So it's just you and me.
Maybe after we get all our work done tomorrow, we might be able to go to NH and visit with Auntie Amanda and stay over. I think you would like that.

Your first hockey game

You and I went to our first hockey game together.
Ok.
Not just together but your very first hockey game ever!

The Bruins were playing the Panthers.
Daddy had bought me these tickets many months ago so we could get out of the house and go together for "date nights." But he couldn't go tonight so we agreed that you could stay out a little late to go to the hockey game.

We had really good seats by where the Zamboni’s came out. And during the first intermission, I saw them and thought about the time that your Daddy gave me a ride on a Zamboni as a surprise. I was so happy and so shocked that I cried. Your daddy was wonderful about giving present and surprises.

You saw the cheerleaders and was "meh" about them.
You saw the little kids who skated during intermission and you were sort of "um... they're so little" about them.
Then you saw Blades, the Bear, and you were so excited!!
You said he was soft and cuddly but really strong.

We left during the second intermission so that you wouldn't stay out too late. It is a school night of course.

Oh. On the way into the parking garage, you held the door for a couple, held the elevator door for them, pushed the button and waited for them to leave first.

The guy was amazed. He couldn't believe how polite and caring you were. He kept saying it over and over and then you thanked him which brought on a whole round of more praises.

Who do you think taught you that? Yup. It was Mama. Daddy has something to do about it, too, but I do remember sitting you down and explaining to you why good manners were so important. And you said you understood. And I am sure that Daddy's and my reminders helped along the way.

On the drive home, you talked about family and how important family is and "outside people" are not the same as family. I asked who told you this and you said you just think a lot and you know this from thinking.

We came home and Daddy came down to put you to bed. You had asked me who bought the tickets and I said that Daddy did. So you thanked Daddy. And he told you that I chose you to go with me.

I hoped you like the hockey game because there is another one in December that I have tickets to. You said you would like to come again.

Love,
Mama

Under the Big Oak Tree

Today we went to the Museum of Science. When I mentioned going, you were so excited. You wanted to go in the afternoon, after lunch.

We went to Spikes for Hot dogs.
That was Daddy's idea.
You and Daddy love hot dogs.

After lunch, Daddy walked home and we went to the museum.
You asked me why Daddy couldn't come.
I said he was busy and had other things to do at home.

At the museum, walked all over the place.
We even went to the 3D Theatre on Sharks.
It was CRAZY!
You and I kept reaching out our hands to touch the fish and the sharks, and we would look at each other and laugh.

After the show, we walked all around again.
And then you said, "I know I know... you have to come. Come."
And you led me into a room with a Big Oak Tree.
You pushed a button and the show started.
It was amazing.

You talked the whole time the recording was in play.
And underneath that Big Oak Tree, you gave me enlightenment and illumination.
Things to think about.
Out of the mouth of babes, as they say.

And I thought to myself... "Budddha reached enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree."
Bodhi Tree sounds a little like Big Oak Tree, doesn't it?

You gave me a gift.
More reason to be present than ever before.

And I love you for it.

Love,
Mama

"You don't have to worry..."

"Mommy? I know you worry."
Worry? I do?"
"Yes. I know."
How do you know?
"Because you are always thinking. Think think think. In your head."
You think so? How do you know?"
"Because you are my mother. And I love you."
Oh.... okay. I love you too.
"I love you forever. I love until you die. And then until I die. I will love you forever. Because you are my Mother and I love you."
Thank you, JJ. That makes me so happy."

"Can I be a king?"

Yes, JJ. You can be anything you want to be.
Really?
Yes. Really.

I told you a story.
Of your great great great.....too many greats to count... grandfather who was a king.
He was an orphan.
Found in a box on the grounds of the emperor's palace.
And the queen and her ladies found him.

The king raised him as he did his own two sons.

When the king died, the first son was supposed to inherit the throne.
But he said my middle brother is better fit than I to rule.
And so, your "great great great.....too many greats to count... grandfather" became the emperor.
And was a part of a great revival during the Silla Dynasty in Korea.

And one day I will take you to see his grave.
It's big and round and thousands of visitors come to his grave.

Yes, JJ.
He was an orphan who rose to be king.
And you can be a king too one day.
You can be whatever you want to be.

Love,
Mama

"You are the best mommy."

Today was a tough day for me. I have been feeling a bit blue and I wasn't doing so well.

You came over and looked up at me.
With those deep, dark brown eyes, wide open, and looked me right in the eyes.
And silently, you leaned into me and gave me a hug.

"I love you, Mommy."
I love you too, JJ.
"You are the best Mommy."
Thank you, JJ. And you are the best son.
"Really?"
Yes.
"I love you, Mommy."

Post Adoption Depression

I have just finished reading the book "Post Adoption Blues."
I should have read it in January.
Your Daddy tried to tell me.

"When the mother is in crisis, the family is in crisis."

I wish I had listened to your Daddy, too.

Post Adoption Depression is the same as Post-Partum depression. And in some ways, it is much worse. It is a legitimate condition that many adoptive parents go through. And it can either rip apart the family or bring it back together, depending on the path that the parents choose. Wow.

Everything I felt was covered in the first two chapters. It gave legitimacy to the horrible way that I was feeling and my mouth grew wider as I read and I thought, "OMG, they are writing about me!"

I guess it is the unspoken truth about adoption. The thing that no one ever talks about. The prevailing beliefs are many, and usually center around the happy doting parents of a brand new child/baby. This book talks about the dark side, the inability to bond or attach with the child you brought into your life. And the struggles to conform to society, the fear that you can't, the panic you feel, and the shame and fear that is provoked and the ensuing paralysis from being able to take action. It also talks about parenting itself and how overwhelming it can be, especially when society judges you in subtle ways without knowing they are doing it. How it affects the marriage, the child and the parents individually.

I think I was falling into this in january. Until it hit in April. And I kept spiraling every more deeply until all i could think about was getting away from it all. And I spoke these horrible thoughts and fears to you father, who I prayed would take care of them gently.

I also read about men falling into depression as well, and struggling on their own. And how it can be so different from the depression of a mother. And in this time, I am sure that your Daddy struggled as much as I did. And I wasn't there for him. Not one bit. And I am sure that was overwhelming to him. And if he is still struggling, now that I am aware of what is going on, I will be there.

So, I am getting help. Talking to a doctor every week about my feelings of depression. At the end of the book there is an exerpt from a standard set of questions - about half a dozen categories with two questions under each. And I answer "yes" to every single one. Except for the one where it asked whether I had thoughts of suicide. I am a survivor and a fighter if nothing else.

So I want you to know that I am on this journey of healing and that I feeling better. I have down days and up days. In fact, I still have ups and down during a single day. But I want to make it clear that I love you. You are my son. And as I come out of my gray fog, I am seeing the beauty and wonderfulness of you, and all the special things that you bring to my life.

I am learning to parent, as all parents do with their first child. And I will make mistakes. I hope you will forgive me on the days that I am too harsh or too tired. And I may not run as fast as Daddy, or play basketball as well as he does, but we can draw, we can start singing, we have danced, and sit quietly and read.

But I will always be here for you. By your side. I will never ever leave you. You are my son.

Love,
Mama

Nov 2 is Election Day

Schools had the day off. So today I had Carrie come in in the morning while I worked. And then at 3pm we went to vote.

You voted today with the help of Mommy. And we voted for the R's. I was so proud.

Afterwards we changed and went to the reservoir to run. On the way, we saw a man holding up a Baker sign. You told him how you had just voted for the "R's". His eyes lit up and he said "good job, young man!" And then you told him about why you voted for the R's. Oh my!

We ran around the reservoir. I let you go ahead. You stopped twice to tie your shoes and you walked twice. But you were fast. And I could see you in your red shorts and white shirt all the way around. Then when you got to the entrance you turned around to get me. You ran me in, telling me about how you're gonna win the marathon one day. And we went home.

It was a good day.

Height and Weight

Today you went to the pulmonary doctor for a brief check up where they weighed and measured you.

So far, you now weigh 59 lbs 5 ounces - 25th percentile. Before you were in the 21st percentile

You are now 4 ft 5 inches tall. this is 41.8th percentile. They didn't tell me where you were before but you were 4ft 4inches before.

Seems like you are catching up and the growth / weight trajectory is on target,

Looks good. :o)
Happy happy!

5K

This morning, you ran your first 5k Race.
It was a family affair.
Nai Nai and Ye Ye were there.
Daddy ran with his BAA friends.
And I ran too.

You and I started out together for the first .25 miles.
I could tell you were clearly holding back.
And I noticed you would run ahead a little, look back, stop and wait for me.

I couldn't hold you back.
So I caught up with you and I said, "JJ, you run. Run ahead without Mama."
And you looked at me a little worried and said, "you?"
And I said, "you go run as fast you want to. Just stay with all of the running people. And I will see you when I get to the finish line."
He seemed a little worried but I said,"you can do this. Mama would be so proud."

And so he ran. I watched his form ahead of me. So free and so beautiful. And so soon out of sight. And I cried a small tear thinking about it.

My first motherly act.
Amazing.
Letting you go and watching you run ahead.
While worrying about you.
This came out of the blue.
And I thought of the future when I would have to release you to High School, to driving, first dance, first drink, to college, to your bride, and God willing that I should be alive, to your first child. I thought of all the firsts to come and felt a lump in my throat.

You met me at the finish with Nai Nai and Ye Ye.

At the end you won the 19yrs and under age group award for First Place.

I was so proud.

Love,
Mama

Like Brothers

After an outing with Niles and his family, Nile's mom sent me this:

JJ to Niles: I think we’re like brothers. When I’m 18, I’m going to buy a house and you will buy a house and we’ll be neighbors. We can play games every day then!

So funny.