Ni Hao, Jei Jei

Dear Big Smiley,

I guess I am going to call you Big Smiley until I can come up with a more appropriate nickname for you. We call your mei mei Little Dumpling, but I am getting ahead of myself. And I see that your Baba has already written you a letter. I should have known he'd sneak in here first! But, I am getting ahead of myself yet again.

First, I want you to know that we have your pictures in our living room. I also have the same pictures of you at my office, on the bulletin board, in front and behind my monitor so that when I look up, I can see your smiling face.

And that is the defining feature - your Big Smile. Hence, the name Big Smiley. Your smile is like your Baba's. He also has a very big smile and everyone has commented on how similar you two look.

I don't know where to start really, so we will take this one day at a time.

We have been waiting for your mei mei to come home since June of 2006. The wait has been long and it will get longer. Your Baba and I have talked about maybe getting another child after your mei mei comes home. Maybe one that is older and a son. But the wait was so long! So we decided to look into other countries to see if mei mei's big brother was to be found outside of China. The more we researched and look, the more we became convinced that the agency helping us to bring home your mei mei was the right one for us. And that China was the country where are hearts lay - in you and in your mei mei.

And so, in late December, after searching for 3 months, we sat down and talked to the agency that is helping us bring home mei mei. And we asked them, "Why is it that China allows concurrent adoptions from other countries but not from China? Especially if we wanted to go through the Special Needs/Waiting Child route?"

Our agency said, "we don't know. We will ask."

And they did. Turns out that China would allows us to pursue this and the very next day the Agency found us two little boys, one of which we felt was right for us. But fate works in very strange ways. That little boy wasn't meant to be our son when we found out that China would let us switch to the SN/WC avenue but it meant that we would have to lose our place in line for your mei mei.

But you see, that was out of the question for us. At the end of our place in line is your mei mei. The little girl that is meant for us. If we left the line... well... we felt we would be abandoning her. We would be testing fate and asking for another little girl that was perfect for us. Who knows what fate would have said after all these many months of being in line and waiting patiently. So leaving line was bad for all of us. And most importantly for your sister. You see, she was abandoned at birth. And if we left our place in line, we felt that she would be abandoned a second time. It's hard to explain. I hope you understand as you get older.

Anyway, your Baba and I are funny people. Your Baba especially always wants to know "why" and "why not." It makes me crazy but it's a part of who your Baba is and his curiosity is to be cherished! So, Baba asked, "Why can't we stay in line for Little Dumpling while starting over in a new line for Our Little Fortune Cookie, whoever he may be?"

So the agency said, "we never thought of asking that question." And they went back to China and asked them "why not?"

China said, "well, we have never done that before and we must think about it and talk to many people to see if we should do this."

So we waited. The days passed with no contact from China and I was losing hope. Your Baba and I decided if it was not meant to be, we should not feel badly. But a month later, we heard from the Agency. China called. They said, "ok. Let's give this a try. If you are in line for a Non-Special Needs Child, and would like to adopt from the Special Needs/Waiting Child List then we will let you do that without losing your place in line." And they went one step further. They said, "if you want to only adopt from the SN/Special Needs List then you can adopt TWO children at the same time."

Wow. The agency thought that we would be the first family to be doing this. They said that we helped change the course of Chinese adoption in the United States. But all we know is that Fate intervened and decided that our way to you was destiny.

And the next day, the agency looked through the lists of children and they came upon your file. They called and described you. They sent us your file and your pictures. And your pictures were beautiful. You have the biggest smile on your face. And there is a less smiley one but your face is just as beautiful to me.

You were born in Beijing at the Beijing Hospital in 2001. You see, you had a cleft lip, cleft palate, and a hole in your heart. And your family decided that they could not take care of your properly so they left you at the hospital where they thought you would be in good hands. There is so much more to this story but we believe that you were loved by your foster family and the orphange and that they took very very good care of you. And your Baba and I are forever grateful for that.

You also had surgery on the cleft lip, palate and hole in your heart. Your Aunt Harriet, who is a pediatric neurologist, took a look at your file first, then told us that your development is on track. She especially loved the smile and the twinkle in your eye. She also commented on how I have to work to put some meat on your bones! Well, Aunt Harriet loves to eat! You will love her. She loves children.

We also talked to your Uncle John, who is a pediatric anesthesiologist. He reviewed your file on your heart surgery and said that you were perfect! He is also very very excited to have you home.

It turns out that Beijing Hospital is one of the best in the world, and The Best in China. The children's hospital there is supposed to be world reknown.

And so, we told the agency, you are our son and that we want you home with us.

And they put your file on "hold" in the system so you wouldn't go to some other family. And we hurried up and sent a letter to China of our intention to adopt you. Then we applied formally to the agency. After that the home study was completed and we sent off all the forms for the background and criminal checks which were sent back to the agency in record time. Next we had to gather all of the other paperwork that could NOT be reused. The agency is reusing some of the paperwork we filed for your mei mei. Some had to be redone. And then we had to ask USCIS - the immigration people - to add you to our approval in addition to your mei mei. And that was also done in record time. Now all of the information has been compiled into a Dossier which has been sent to NYC to be translated into Chinese. All of that, which usually takes about 3-6 months, took us four weeks. FOURS WEEKS! Of course, I am not holding my breath because the same thing happened with your mei mei but here we are STILL in line! Sigh...

After the Dossier is translated (about 3-4 weeks), it will be sent to China. This is our Dossier to China date (DTC) (about a week).
After China gets the Dossier, they will review it and log it in. This is called the Log In Date (LID) - about another 3-4 weeks.
Then they will send us a Letter of Acceptance (LOA) telling us that they accept us as your parents - about 3-4 months).
Then they will send us a travel authorization (TA) which is another 3-4 weeks.
Then in about 2-8 weeks, we will be traveling.

The best case is July, sometime, but that very optimistic.
The average case will be around September or October.
The worst case is any time after that.
Now, we wait. When things progress, I will report it to you.
And while we wait, we will write things down that we can't say to you yet.

Anyway, that is the story of your birth into our family.
We know that you have lost so much in your young life already.
And by coming home to us, we know that you will once again lose so much and the life you have come to know.
I hope that one day you will be able to forgive us for taking you away from your life and giving you a new one.

Well, there is more to come.
Remember that we love you and I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

Love,
Mama