April Update

In April, life continue to evolve for you. The biggest thing that happened was your vacation in the Mountains with Ye Ye and Nai Nai. I continue to hope that you will speak better, and say your words correctly. But I am increasingly frustrated. I know that this is not your fault entirely - it is the product of China and cleft and being an orphan, etc. But my frustrations mount and it's a deep spiral of depression, irritation, sadness, disappointment, indifference - rinse, repeat.

You keep talking about your birthday. Which I found was interested. I know that in China (confirmed by Chinese friends) and Korea, we do not celebrate birthdays. We celebrate the first 100 days and then the first year. After that it's really every 10 years. The biggest thing in Korea is to have Seaweed soup for good health and weath. And in China (again, confirmed by Chinese friends lest anyone thinks cynically that I don't know what I am talking about), you eat longevity noodles (for long life).

So I keep asking you how you know about birthdays and you keep not answering me. So I wrote a note to your teacher and she said that when it is your birthday, the kids sometimes bring in little trinkets to pass out to their classmates - like stickers, pencils, erasers, etc. Not all the children participate but some do. Well... I immeidately thought, "of course, we will participate and we will have the best trinkets to give out!" Yes. Your mom is not a little competitive, is she?? There are 22 kids. Okay. Got it.

So other than that, that is all I heard. But then your Daddy said that the kids probably all talk about their birthdays, what they got, the presents, the parties, and the cake. Interesting.

The other thing that happened is the Carrie sent me an email. Basically she said that you were driving her crazy and that's why she keeps looking for another job. GOOD GOD! We cannot lose Carrie!!

She says that in front of us, you work hard. When we are not there, you just talks, plays and do not listen to her. That is why homework takes so long. I wondered about that one. I wondered why you were always doing homework when I got home from work. Carrie said, "he is lazy, he is smart."

I told her the following:

• tell him to be quiet and if he doesn't listen, tell him she will tell mama.
• if he misbehaves, send him to his room and shut the door and let him know that he must behave like a big boy and if he is ready, he can come out (of course, tell me when she has to do this).
• if she does not want to the above, she can move to another, no TV, etc., until he has done some homework

We cannot afford to have Carrie leave. So when we got home, Daddy and I had a nice little chat with you. Daddy told you that must listen to Carrie and what she says goes. And that if she tells you to sit, you must sit. If she tells you to stand on your head, you must stand on your head. Carrie is the boss when Daddy and Mama are not here. And that you must not spend your time saying "ha ha hee hee" and talking and talking about irrelevant things. All while avoiding doing your homework.

You said you understood it. Well... we will see.

I did tell you that if you did not behave, Carrie will leave and never come back. You looked a little surprised but there is cause and effect and you will eventually learn. I know that it was a tough message but I image that we will be telling you this again and again before it is over.

The other thing that I found out was that you have been asking everyone to buy you things and to give you money. We have been having this discussion since we met you in China and although you have stopped asking Mama and Daddy this, you continue to do this to other people. This tells me that

• you know that you shouldn't and still do - because you do it "behind out backs" to put it into a nutshell
• you know the there is a consquence
• you know that it probably isn't right

This culminated with Carrie telling Mama that she didn't want to say anything but that you asked a complete stranger (her friend) to buy you a toy. And that when Carrie tells you "no" you pout, refuse to move (even when Carrie keeps walking and says she is leaving you), and you get whiny and make pouty faces.

This is not acceptable. Mama had a chat with you about this. I basically told you that in America, good children do not do this. You seemed really surprised that I even knew about it. I told you that it is not acceptable behaviour. You said you would not do it again. We will see. Only because I know that parents need to tell the kids the same things repeatedly. So eventually, you will understand it all.

Mama told you that in a couple of weeks, I have another trip to Texas for work. You seemed to take it in stride. I know. It will be a relief to have Mama gone and not always lecturing you for a while. LOL.

I think I need to take better notes for future updates. All I know is all the bad stuff - the things that bug me. I need to start writing down the funny and good stuff that you do. One day. LOL...

One good thing... Daddy was thinking of getting you a basketball hoop for your birthday. Of course I am resigned to a party but it will be an informal open house type of thing - no cake, no singing, no pin the stupid tale on the damn donkey with 50 kids causing mayhem in the house. I would have to leave the house for the weekend at that point. Instead, we will have neighborhood friends and family. You don't know it but Ye Ye and Nai Nai will be here. Good God, I hope you don't pee in your bed the next day! LOLOL!