Thank God for the Game Boy.
It's 15 years old.
But it still works.
Especially during a long and boring graduation ceremony.
Tough for a 9 year old boy to sit through.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Big problem
Mama: JJ, we have to stop and get gas.
JJ: Why?
Mama: Because we're running out of gas.
JJ: Ah.
(Pause)
JJ: Car no gas, big problem...
Mama: Yes it is.
(At the gas station, JJ is watching Mama pump gas.)
Mama: Let's see how much gas this thing takes.
(After a while waiting as Mama pumps gas.)
JJ: Wow. Car is empty.
Mama: Yes it is.
JJ: Wow. Car is very very hungry...
JJ: Why?
Mama: Because we're running out of gas.
JJ: Ah.
(Pause)
JJ: Car no gas, big problem...
Mama: Yes it is.
(At the gas station, JJ is watching Mama pump gas.)
Mama: Let's see how much gas this thing takes.
(After a while waiting as Mama pumps gas.)
JJ: Wow. Car is empty.
Mama: Yes it is.
JJ: Wow. Car is very very hungry...
Homework? Homework??
Actually no.
Just trying to remember Him, Her, He, She.
50 times.
Next time, it'll be 100!
So, what's the good news for JJ?
No kid ever died from homework!
Suck it up, kid!
LOL!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Meat
Daddy: What did you have for dinner tonight?
JJ: [this, that, veggies, blah blah, etc] and meat
Daddy: Meat? What Meat?
JJ: Don't know.
Daddy: [???]
JJ: come come come [goes to the refrigerator with Carrie right behind
him and pulls out a container]
JJ: Meat
Daddy: That's ham, it's pork, comes from pig.
JJ & Carrie: Ohhhhh.....
JJ: [this, that, veggies, blah blah, etc] and meat
Daddy: Meat? What Meat?
JJ: Don't know.
Daddy: [???]
JJ: come come come [goes to the refrigerator with Carrie right behind
him and pulls out a container]
JJ: Meat
Daddy: That's ham, it's pork, comes from pig.
JJ & Carrie: Ohhhhh.....
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Birthday Hoop
Daddy got you a basketball hoop for your birthday. All I have to say is "Thank God for Daddy." It's the perfect gift for a very active little boy.
Thank God.
Thank God.
"Why did my Mama and Baba throw me away?"
It's been interesting. When you and I draw together, you always tell me something or ask me something that is more emotional than why birds fly.
I supposed that is why art therapy and touch therapy really works - it opens up the side of the brain that is more emotion than analytical. And I actually experience it working when we are drawing.
The first time, you told me about your Mama and Baba who threw you away, like the trash, into a trash can.
The second time, you told me about your friend in China, your best friend, the best number one person you knew in the whole world, who sat in a wheel chair with a curved back, no right leg, and a left leg with the heel of the foot growing out of his calf. I imagine that in China, you mostly saw boys with physical impairments and very few boys that we would call "normal boys." You said in China, this was "bad." And asked me, "in America?" And I said, "It's bad in America, too, JJ but most American Mama and Baba's do not throw their babies away like that." I always felt like he was asking me silently if his friend could come here. And I said nothing. I wish I were a better person than I am. But most importantly, I felt there was a veiled question about us throwing him away if he couldn't be fixed.
The last time it happened was this past weekend. We were drawing together and you asked me, "Why my China Mama, Baba throw me away?" In the past you never looked at me. This time, you asked the question and turned to face me.
What do I say? What can I tell you? And I wonder about the deep pain that you might be in to ask these types of questions. To know and be cognizant enough to equate yourself as trash. And then to know that you are worth enough for someone to want you and adopt you and bring you into abundance. What must you be thinking? How must you be feeling? It does tell me that you are not a shallow little boy and that you have the ability to really and truly think and feel. It was something I was afraid you wouldn't be able to do well, or even, at all. For me, THIS is what is required for bonding...
So when you looked at me, I searched your eyes and I said, "I don't know, JJ."
You turned back to draw, and said, "Why? Why throw me away?"
So, I said, "they didn't know you would be such a good boy. And that you could work so hard. And they didn't have enough money to fix your mouth and nose. But you're here with us now. And we will fix you and we all know you are a very good boy and that you work very very hard."
He got up and asked me for a hug.
I wish I knew what you were thinking and feeling at that moment.
But I bet it was less about love than it was about relief.
No matter where you and I are in life and in our relationship...
You matter.
Yes, you do.
I supposed that is why art therapy and touch therapy really works - it opens up the side of the brain that is more emotion than analytical. And I actually experience it working when we are drawing.
The first time, you told me about your Mama and Baba who threw you away, like the trash, into a trash can.
The second time, you told me about your friend in China, your best friend, the best number one person you knew in the whole world, who sat in a wheel chair with a curved back, no right leg, and a left leg with the heel of the foot growing out of his calf. I imagine that in China, you mostly saw boys with physical impairments and very few boys that we would call "normal boys." You said in China, this was "bad." And asked me, "in America?" And I said, "It's bad in America, too, JJ but most American Mama and Baba's do not throw their babies away like that." I always felt like he was asking me silently if his friend could come here. And I said nothing. I wish I were a better person than I am. But most importantly, I felt there was a veiled question about us throwing him away if he couldn't be fixed.
The last time it happened was this past weekend. We were drawing together and you asked me, "Why my China Mama, Baba throw me away?" In the past you never looked at me. This time, you asked the question and turned to face me.
What do I say? What can I tell you? And I wonder about the deep pain that you might be in to ask these types of questions. To know and be cognizant enough to equate yourself as trash. And then to know that you are worth enough for someone to want you and adopt you and bring you into abundance. What must you be thinking? How must you be feeling? It does tell me that you are not a shallow little boy and that you have the ability to really and truly think and feel. It was something I was afraid you wouldn't be able to do well, or even, at all. For me, THIS is what is required for bonding...
So when you looked at me, I searched your eyes and I said, "I don't know, JJ."
You turned back to draw, and said, "Why? Why throw me away?"
So, I said, "they didn't know you would be such a good boy. And that you could work so hard. And they didn't have enough money to fix your mouth and nose. But you're here with us now. And we will fix you and we all know you are a very good boy and that you work very very hard."
He got up and asked me for a hug.
I wish I knew what you were thinking and feeling at that moment.
But I bet it was less about love than it was about relief.
No matter where you and I are in life and in our relationship...
You matter.
Yes, you do.
One Step Closer to Understanding
The Cleft Team doctor's office called the other day and as luck would have it, Mama was home. And after that conversation, I am thankful that I was.
They were basically confirming a doctor's appointment with the Cleft Team Orthodontist. And we basically started chatting.
The bottom line is that on one day you have three doctor's appointments. THREE. Yes. And since Mama will be in Texas for work, your poor, wonderful, long suffering Daddy would once again be taking you to the hospital alone. Again.
The doctor on the phone thought that you would have your bone graft and P-flap surgery all at the same time. But not sure until they could get another set of xrays to determine the growth of your canines. Evidently, they cannot do the bone graft until your canines are budding. If there is nothing to "anchor" the bone into place, the grafted bone will be "reabsorbed" by the body, leaving behind soft tissue. And since teeth will grow where there is bone, it is important to know when you canines are starting to take root. There are reports of children with cleft that have what I call "barracuda teeth" - rows and rows of teeth with some growing though the roof of the mouth!
She also mentioned that it would include removal of the ear tags, the nose revision, lip revision and the hemifacial microsomia - which she informed me was very very rare - and to have it happen along with cleft, was even more rare. I almost felt like I should feel "special" about it because it was so rare. Uh...
But before the bone graft surgery can be done, they may have to put in the palate expanders. And then you will need a retainer and braces until the surgery. And through the surgery. And then after the surgery you will be into teeth braces - none of which is fully covered by insurance. Ahem.
I told the doctor on the phone that I was worried about your surgery being scheduled in two years when you are 11 years old. There was some confusion because she thought it was going to be sometime at the end of this year. Hmmm. Interesting. But it seems that a lot could be up in the air depending on the growth of your bone. Right then and there I decided that you will be drinking A LOT of milk going forward!
I also know that you need to have your tonsils out before the bone graft and P-flap surgery because the surgeons do not want to have to deal with pushing them out of the way. The ENT appointment is later in May so we will know if you will need to have them removed.
So I explained to the doctor on the phone why I felt the urgency. People are starting to make fun of you. She said that you would have to be really outgoing and develop a really great personality because, Yes, kids are cruel and they will tease but you need to grow a great personality to over come it. I think you have a pretty big personality already and you are not shy or retiring so that's good.
I also said I worried about you having swimming because you have air escaping through your mouth and nose. She told me that I should just let you do what you want to do. And if you fail, then we can explain why but that it is important for us to support you in what you want to do. Got it. Check. No issues with this one.
Then I explained about your speech. There was a long pause and she said, you "are never going to be completely normal." And that you "will always have a slight speech impediment." And that you and I "are going to have to accept it and move on." And that how much of an impediment you have will depend on "how hard you are willing to work at speech." I told her that you are not afraid of hard work, and when we correct you, you will repeat it over and over until you get it as right as you possibly. Of course, that is only when you are consciously practicing ONE WORD. When you talk in sentences, you are still taking too fast, and you slur your words, and don't finish or start them correctly. In fact, if my back is to you, I have no idea what you are saying. And when I am facing you I have to read your lips. She understood this and didn't tell me that I was wrong. She understood and said that was expected.
She also told me about a foundation for children that I will be looking into.
It was really good to talk to her. It was not the news I wanted to hear but now I can move past it. You must work very very hard with the speech doctor later. I keep telling you think and now you are repeating it back to me.
They were basically confirming a doctor's appointment with the Cleft Team Orthodontist. And we basically started chatting.
The bottom line is that on one day you have three doctor's appointments. THREE. Yes. And since Mama will be in Texas for work, your poor, wonderful, long suffering Daddy would once again be taking you to the hospital alone. Again.
The doctor on the phone thought that you would have your bone graft and P-flap surgery all at the same time. But not sure until they could get another set of xrays to determine the growth of your canines. Evidently, they cannot do the bone graft until your canines are budding. If there is nothing to "anchor" the bone into place, the grafted bone will be "reabsorbed" by the body, leaving behind soft tissue. And since teeth will grow where there is bone, it is important to know when you canines are starting to take root. There are reports of children with cleft that have what I call "barracuda teeth" - rows and rows of teeth with some growing though the roof of the mouth!
She also mentioned that it would include removal of the ear tags, the nose revision, lip revision and the hemifacial microsomia - which she informed me was very very rare - and to have it happen along with cleft, was even more rare. I almost felt like I should feel "special" about it because it was so rare. Uh...
But before the bone graft surgery can be done, they may have to put in the palate expanders. And then you will need a retainer and braces until the surgery. And through the surgery. And then after the surgery you will be into teeth braces - none of which is fully covered by insurance. Ahem.
I told the doctor on the phone that I was worried about your surgery being scheduled in two years when you are 11 years old. There was some confusion because she thought it was going to be sometime at the end of this year. Hmmm. Interesting. But it seems that a lot could be up in the air depending on the growth of your bone. Right then and there I decided that you will be drinking A LOT of milk going forward!
I also know that you need to have your tonsils out before the bone graft and P-flap surgery because the surgeons do not want to have to deal with pushing them out of the way. The ENT appointment is later in May so we will know if you will need to have them removed.
So I explained to the doctor on the phone why I felt the urgency. People are starting to make fun of you. She said that you would have to be really outgoing and develop a really great personality because, Yes, kids are cruel and they will tease but you need to grow a great personality to over come it. I think you have a pretty big personality already and you are not shy or retiring so that's good.
I also said I worried about you having swimming because you have air escaping through your mouth and nose. She told me that I should just let you do what you want to do. And if you fail, then we can explain why but that it is important for us to support you in what you want to do. Got it. Check. No issues with this one.
Then I explained about your speech. There was a long pause and she said, you "are never going to be completely normal." And that you "will always have a slight speech impediment." And that you and I "are going to have to accept it and move on." And that how much of an impediment you have will depend on "how hard you are willing to work at speech." I told her that you are not afraid of hard work, and when we correct you, you will repeat it over and over until you get it as right as you possibly. Of course, that is only when you are consciously practicing ONE WORD. When you talk in sentences, you are still taking too fast, and you slur your words, and don't finish or start them correctly. In fact, if my back is to you, I have no idea what you are saying. And when I am facing you I have to read your lips. She understood this and didn't tell me that I was wrong. She understood and said that was expected.
She also told me about a foundation for children that I will be looking into.
It was really good to talk to her. It was not the news I wanted to hear but now I can move past it. You must work very very hard with the speech doctor later. I keep telling you think and now you are repeating it back to me.
Attachment
It's been an interesting and difficult journey for me in attaching to you. And to think that all I worried about was you attaching to us.
First, I want to say that I am a deeply fallable person. I am also very complex and very contradictory in many ways. I know how deep my imperfection is because I have spent a lifetime trying to get closer to that elusive state of being called "Perfection."
Second, I am writing this down so you can know what your Mama is like. That I am very human and that I was never your saviour or rescuer. And that it's okay to talk about your feelings, no matter how sensitve the topic might be. So that one day when you read this, you will know the journey I went through to reach other side, where one day I do love you with all my heart. And that love will be worth so much more because it took root and clung to the desert of my heart, grew roots and finally bloomed, against all odds.
Third, I will say that right now, I am still on the journey. I am not there yet. And I might be crucified for saying that but the people who throw barbs and stones at this are all liars. They are not brave enough to admit that there are children and babies they don't think are cute, that sometimes they wish they never had their kids, that they wish one day they can just run away from it all. Instead they cover up all this with a blanket of flowers, hiding the worms and bugs that lay beneath. Your Mama is not one of those people.
When we first got you, I think you had decided, "this is it" and you knew you definitely wanted a family. I imagine that you saw all of the little girls in the orgphanage getting adopted and leaving the orphanage. I cannot imagine that when you asked the Nannies why, what they said to you. Because you are not a girl and no one wants boys? Because you are too old and people only want babies? Because you have cleft Lip and Clept Palate and no one wants a "defective child?" I know it sounds harsh but being Chinese isn't far from being Korean in many ways, one of which is that they all want "perfect" children. And in a country where you can only have one child, they will always want that perfect child. In fact, John Andrew, that little boy we saw adopted by another family was given up at the age of two by his family. We assumed because they had a "more perfect and better" little boy.
But you attached to us almost immediately. If you didn't, you put on a good show. You have a great "game face" after all.
I was okay through the first week. Then the second week, and the Honeymoon was definitely over. The ear things started bugging me. I didn't realize that the cleft would be so prominent or that half your nose was smaller than the other. I also didn't realize how you weren't able to talk right. And all of this started to wear on me. In fact, two weeks into it, the the Great Wearing of My Tolerance had started. And I don't have much patience or tolerance to being with.
We got home and things progressively got worse. I was depressed. And I didn't know why I decided to do adoption thing. I was trying to be a better person than I really was. What I really wanted was a little girl. A cute little huggable girl. And I felt cheated because you weren't that. At one point, I told your Daddy that all I wanted was a little girl. And instead, I got an almost-9 year old, not so cute, "defective" boy. And that I was hesitant when we started to adopt you at the age of 5, when you were almost turning 6. But you were cute enough and small enough to tug at my heart. And then two years later at 8 1/2 years old, practically grown, you come into our home, and I felt cheated. I felt cheated out of a little boy, a cute tiny little boy to hold and love. And I was so dejected that I started to question whether I really want to adopt your mei mei. In desperation I had visions of taking you back to China, undoing it all, thinking it was just a bad joke. In fact, I was so doubtful of all of it that I decided not to bring your mei mei home. And so at dinner one night I told you, "maybe we won't go to China to get your mei mei."
"Why??" you asked. You had this confused and plaintive look in your eyes. How could I tell you that I "just wasn't in the mood" for another "kid in the house."
So I said, "because Mama has you. And you are so good that Mama only needs one kid in the family." You thought about that a little bit and I could see your confusion. I don't think you totally bought it. At that point, Daddy walked in and he understood what was going on.
Daddy told me later that we would talk more about it during our vacation in April.
At some point, early into the process, Daddy said to me that maybe all that post partum depression we hear about on the news is something that is real. Something similar to what I was going through. And when I thought about it, the thoughts of escape are real and genuine. I don't condone drowning your babies or "doing away with them" but I could really understand the desperation that some people might go feel and those of a lesser mental state might actually go through with the darkest thoughts. In fact, if I had been a different person, and didn't have someone like your Daddy to blunt the pain, I could actually walk in their shoes and run away. Thoughts of actually packing up and leaving did enter my mind on a couple of ocassions. Thank God I am not that person.
A lot of this also translated to physical pain. The mind body connection is powerful and amazing. I know that my nerves were all frayed, being on end and alert for every little thing, and so that when normal things should be "absorbed" my nerves are totally sensitized and translating it as pain due to all the stress.
What stress?
Truthfully???
Stress of the:
All I know is that you are a very lucky boy indeed. And in my mind that was and should really be enough. In China you would have been a ditch digger. In America, we gave you a future. And right now I think that should be enough. And my thinking is that you should be grateful and know how lucky you are. And not waste this opportunity. That is the thinking that I veered toward and it's hard to shake off because it's true. And a tiny piece of me feels that because of the sign you were born under and your personality, that you could very easily wallow in entitlement and taking for granted all the good things that have fallen into your lap.
My friend Maureen, a special ed teacher, told me that she would have been surprised if I had bonded right away. It will take a few years. He is not a young kid and that typically, Mother/Son bonding takes place between the ages of 2 and 4. And that I missed that entire experience and she felt sorry for me.
My doctor, who wasn't surprised said it would take a few years. She couldn't believe that I thought it would be immediate. In fact, it took her about a year with both of her children.
Brian said he has a sister who is very much like me. She didn't adopt; she had her own. And 3 1/2 years later, the bonding is finally happening.
Daddy went to the development doctor with you the other day and told her a little of my issues. She said she wasn't surprised. She told him that this was typical of "extremely successful women..." He took notes and I haven't read them thoroughly yet but I will.
Now there is less stress. I came home from my business trip last week and it finally dawned on me that "JJ is afraid" of me. And I wonder, are you afraid of ME? or are you afraid that you will not be able to make me happy, that you will be returned to the orphanage? In either case, I decided that wasn't a good thing. So I've spent the weekend trying to be more approachable, being more relaxed. And this weekend, you asked me for more hugs than you have in the last 6 months. Yes, you've been here six months.
The next step is to get back to some sort of workout routine so that I stop blaming you for taking away an integral part of who I am. This is vital to controlling my stress and will help keep me from continuing to see you as my jailer.
I think I am starting to come out of the abyss. Realizations are dawning on me. And your Daddy is always there. I can only pray that you will grow up like him. So, I am swimming up through the dark blue waters, and reaching for the glint of sunlight above. I know it's there. I am swmimming toward love and I know I will find it.
First, I want to say that I am a deeply fallable person. I am also very complex and very contradictory in many ways. I know how deep my imperfection is because I have spent a lifetime trying to get closer to that elusive state of being called "Perfection."
Second, I am writing this down so you can know what your Mama is like. That I am very human and that I was never your saviour or rescuer. And that it's okay to talk about your feelings, no matter how sensitve the topic might be. So that one day when you read this, you will know the journey I went through to reach other side, where one day I do love you with all my heart. And that love will be worth so much more because it took root and clung to the desert of my heart, grew roots and finally bloomed, against all odds.
Third, I will say that right now, I am still on the journey. I am not there yet. And I might be crucified for saying that but the people who throw barbs and stones at this are all liars. They are not brave enough to admit that there are children and babies they don't think are cute, that sometimes they wish they never had their kids, that they wish one day they can just run away from it all. Instead they cover up all this with a blanket of flowers, hiding the worms and bugs that lay beneath. Your Mama is not one of those people.
When we first got you, I think you had decided, "this is it" and you knew you definitely wanted a family. I imagine that you saw all of the little girls in the orgphanage getting adopted and leaving the orphanage. I cannot imagine that when you asked the Nannies why, what they said to you. Because you are not a girl and no one wants boys? Because you are too old and people only want babies? Because you have cleft Lip and Clept Palate and no one wants a "defective child?" I know it sounds harsh but being Chinese isn't far from being Korean in many ways, one of which is that they all want "perfect" children. And in a country where you can only have one child, they will always want that perfect child. In fact, John Andrew, that little boy we saw adopted by another family was given up at the age of two by his family. We assumed because they had a "more perfect and better" little boy.
But you attached to us almost immediately. If you didn't, you put on a good show. You have a great "game face" after all.
I was okay through the first week. Then the second week, and the Honeymoon was definitely over. The ear things started bugging me. I didn't realize that the cleft would be so prominent or that half your nose was smaller than the other. I also didn't realize how you weren't able to talk right. And all of this started to wear on me. In fact, two weeks into it, the the Great Wearing of My Tolerance had started. And I don't have much patience or tolerance to being with.
We got home and things progressively got worse. I was depressed. And I didn't know why I decided to do adoption thing. I was trying to be a better person than I really was. What I really wanted was a little girl. A cute little huggable girl. And I felt cheated because you weren't that. At one point, I told your Daddy that all I wanted was a little girl. And instead, I got an almost-9 year old, not so cute, "defective" boy. And that I was hesitant when we started to adopt you at the age of 5, when you were almost turning 6. But you were cute enough and small enough to tug at my heart. And then two years later at 8 1/2 years old, practically grown, you come into our home, and I felt cheated. I felt cheated out of a little boy, a cute tiny little boy to hold and love. And I was so dejected that I started to question whether I really want to adopt your mei mei. In desperation I had visions of taking you back to China, undoing it all, thinking it was just a bad joke. In fact, I was so doubtful of all of it that I decided not to bring your mei mei home. And so at dinner one night I told you, "maybe we won't go to China to get your mei mei."
"Why??" you asked. You had this confused and plaintive look in your eyes. How could I tell you that I "just wasn't in the mood" for another "kid in the house."
So I said, "because Mama has you. And you are so good that Mama only needs one kid in the family." You thought about that a little bit and I could see your confusion. I don't think you totally bought it. At that point, Daddy walked in and he understood what was going on.
Daddy told me later that we would talk more about it during our vacation in April.
At some point, early into the process, Daddy said to me that maybe all that post partum depression we hear about on the news is something that is real. Something similar to what I was going through. And when I thought about it, the thoughts of escape are real and genuine. I don't condone drowning your babies or "doing away with them" but I could really understand the desperation that some people might go feel and those of a lesser mental state might actually go through with the darkest thoughts. In fact, if I had been a different person, and didn't have someone like your Daddy to blunt the pain, I could actually walk in their shoes and run away. Thoughts of actually packing up and leaving did enter my mind on a couple of ocassions. Thank God I am not that person.
A lot of this also translated to physical pain. The mind body connection is powerful and amazing. I know that my nerves were all frayed, being on end and alert for every little thing, and so that when normal things should be "absorbed" my nerves are totally sensitized and translating it as pain due to all the stress.
What stress?
Truthfully???
Stress of the:
- the job
- the kid
- resentment about all the kids issues, among other things
- having to freakin LOVE you even when I did not feel like it
- trying to be NICE all the damn time and censoring myself
- freaking medical bills (even with the insurance)
- the guilt from all of the above
- inability to work out
- not eating the right foods
- gaining all my weight back
- not being able to talk about anything to anyone without everyone telling me what and how and when I should be and do and feel and think and live, etc
- and a whole host of other things that have been put on hold because, well... basically, because you came home.
- Isn't it so special? (Uh... actually, no. It's a pain. What is there to be special about?)
- Isn't he just the best? (I have no idea what "the best" means. He is just a kid. 8 years old, almost 9.)
- Don't you just LOVE HIM? Aren't you JUST in LOVE?? (Actually, No. I do not love him and I am not in love with him either. I am not there yet. I need more time!)
All I know is that you are a very lucky boy indeed. And in my mind that was and should really be enough. In China you would have been a ditch digger. In America, we gave you a future. And right now I think that should be enough. And my thinking is that you should be grateful and know how lucky you are. And not waste this opportunity. That is the thinking that I veered toward and it's hard to shake off because it's true. And a tiny piece of me feels that because of the sign you were born under and your personality, that you could very easily wallow in entitlement and taking for granted all the good things that have fallen into your lap.
My friend Maureen, a special ed teacher, told me that she would have been surprised if I had bonded right away. It will take a few years. He is not a young kid and that typically, Mother/Son bonding takes place between the ages of 2 and 4. And that I missed that entire experience and she felt sorry for me.
My doctor, who wasn't surprised said it would take a few years. She couldn't believe that I thought it would be immediate. In fact, it took her about a year with both of her children.
Brian said he has a sister who is very much like me. She didn't adopt; she had her own. And 3 1/2 years later, the bonding is finally happening.
Daddy went to the development doctor with you the other day and told her a little of my issues. She said she wasn't surprised. She told him that this was typical of "extremely successful women..." He took notes and I haven't read them thoroughly yet but I will.
Now there is less stress. I came home from my business trip last week and it finally dawned on me that "JJ is afraid" of me. And I wonder, are you afraid of ME? or are you afraid that you will not be able to make me happy, that you will be returned to the orphanage? In either case, I decided that wasn't a good thing. So I've spent the weekend trying to be more approachable, being more relaxed. And this weekend, you asked me for more hugs than you have in the last 6 months. Yes, you've been here six months.
The next step is to get back to some sort of workout routine so that I stop blaming you for taking away an integral part of who I am. This is vital to controlling my stress and will help keep me from continuing to see you as my jailer.
I think I am starting to come out of the abyss. Realizations are dawning on me. And your Daddy is always there. I can only pray that you will grow up like him. So, I am swimming up through the dark blue waters, and reaching for the glint of sunlight above. I know it's there. I am swmimming toward love and I know I will find it.
April Update
In April, life continue to evolve for you. The biggest thing that happened was your vacation in the Mountains with Ye Ye and Nai Nai. I continue to hope that you will speak better, and say your words correctly. But I am increasingly frustrated. I know that this is not your fault entirely - it is the product of China and cleft and being an orphan, etc. But my frustrations mount and it's a deep spiral of depression, irritation, sadness, disappointment, indifference - rinse, repeat.
You keep talking about your birthday. Which I found was interested. I know that in China (confirmed by Chinese friends) and Korea, we do not celebrate birthdays. We celebrate the first 100 days and then the first year. After that it's really every 10 years. The biggest thing in Korea is to have Seaweed soup for good health and weath. And in China (again, confirmed by Chinese friends lest anyone thinks cynically that I don't know what I am talking about), you eat longevity noodles (for long life).
So I keep asking you how you know about birthdays and you keep not answering me. So I wrote a note to your teacher and she said that when it is your birthday, the kids sometimes bring in little trinkets to pass out to their classmates - like stickers, pencils, erasers, etc. Not all the children participate but some do. Well... I immeidately thought, "of course, we will participate and we will have the best trinkets to give out!" Yes. Your mom is not a little competitive, is she?? There are 22 kids. Okay. Got it.
So other than that, that is all I heard. But then your Daddy said that the kids probably all talk about their birthdays, what they got, the presents, the parties, and the cake. Interesting.
The other thing that happened is the Carrie sent me an email. Basically she said that you were driving her crazy and that's why she keeps looking for another job. GOOD GOD! We cannot lose Carrie!!
She says that in front of us, you work hard. When we are not there, you just talks, plays and do not listen to her. That is why homework takes so long. I wondered about that one. I wondered why you were always doing homework when I got home from work. Carrie said, "he is lazy, he is smart."
I told her the following:
We cannot afford to have Carrie leave. So when we got home, Daddy and I had a nice little chat with you. Daddy told you that must listen to Carrie and what she says goes. And that if she tells you to sit, you must sit. If she tells you to stand on your head, you must stand on your head. Carrie is the boss when Daddy and Mama are not here. And that you must not spend your time saying "ha ha hee hee" and talking and talking about irrelevant things. All while avoiding doing your homework.
You said you understood it. Well... we will see.
I did tell you that if you did not behave, Carrie will leave and never come back. You looked a little surprised but there is cause and effect and you will eventually learn. I know that it was a tough message but I image that we will be telling you this again and again before it is over.
The other thing that I found out was that you have been asking everyone to buy you things and to give you money. We have been having this discussion since we met you in China and although you have stopped asking Mama and Daddy this, you continue to do this to other people. This tells me that
This is not acceptable. Mama had a chat with you about this. I basically told you that in America, good children do not do this. You seemed really surprised that I even knew about it. I told you that it is not acceptable behaviour. You said you would not do it again. We will see. Only because I know that parents need to tell the kids the same things repeatedly. So eventually, you will understand it all.
Mama told you that in a couple of weeks, I have another trip to Texas for work. You seemed to take it in stride. I know. It will be a relief to have Mama gone and not always lecturing you for a while. LOL.
I think I need to take better notes for future updates. All I know is all the bad stuff - the things that bug me. I need to start writing down the funny and good stuff that you do. One day. LOL...
One good thing... Daddy was thinking of getting you a basketball hoop for your birthday. Of course I am resigned to a party but it will be an informal open house type of thing - no cake, no singing, no pin the stupid tale on the damn donkey with 50 kids causing mayhem in the house. I would have to leave the house for the weekend at that point. Instead, we will have neighborhood friends and family. You don't know it but Ye Ye and Nai Nai will be here. Good God, I hope you don't pee in your bed the next day! LOLOL!
You keep talking about your birthday. Which I found was interested. I know that in China (confirmed by Chinese friends) and Korea, we do not celebrate birthdays. We celebrate the first 100 days and then the first year. After that it's really every 10 years. The biggest thing in Korea is to have Seaweed soup for good health and weath. And in China (again, confirmed by Chinese friends lest anyone thinks cynically that I don't know what I am talking about), you eat longevity noodles (for long life).
So I keep asking you how you know about birthdays and you keep not answering me. So I wrote a note to your teacher and she said that when it is your birthday, the kids sometimes bring in little trinkets to pass out to their classmates - like stickers, pencils, erasers, etc. Not all the children participate but some do. Well... I immeidately thought, "of course, we will participate and we will have the best trinkets to give out!" Yes. Your mom is not a little competitive, is she?? There are 22 kids. Okay. Got it.
So other than that, that is all I heard. But then your Daddy said that the kids probably all talk about their birthdays, what they got, the presents, the parties, and the cake. Interesting.
The other thing that happened is the Carrie sent me an email. Basically she said that you were driving her crazy and that's why she keeps looking for another job. GOOD GOD! We cannot lose Carrie!!
She says that in front of us, you work hard. When we are not there, you just talks, plays and do not listen to her. That is why homework takes so long. I wondered about that one. I wondered why you were always doing homework when I got home from work. Carrie said, "he is lazy, he is smart."
I told her the following:
- tell him to be quiet and if he doesn't listen, tell him she will tell mama.
- if he misbehaves, send him to his room and shut the door and let him know that he must behave like a big boy and if he is ready, he can come out (of course, tell me when she has to do this).
- if she does not want to the above, she can move to another, no TV, etc., until he has done some homework
We cannot afford to have Carrie leave. So when we got home, Daddy and I had a nice little chat with you. Daddy told you that must listen to Carrie and what she says goes. And that if she tells you to sit, you must sit. If she tells you to stand on your head, you must stand on your head. Carrie is the boss when Daddy and Mama are not here. And that you must not spend your time saying "ha ha hee hee" and talking and talking about irrelevant things. All while avoiding doing your homework.
You said you understood it. Well... we will see.
I did tell you that if you did not behave, Carrie will leave and never come back. You looked a little surprised but there is cause and effect and you will eventually learn. I know that it was a tough message but I image that we will be telling you this again and again before it is over.
The other thing that I found out was that you have been asking everyone to buy you things and to give you money. We have been having this discussion since we met you in China and although you have stopped asking Mama and Daddy this, you continue to do this to other people. This tells me that
- you know that you shouldn't and still do - because you do it "behind out backs" to put it into a nutshell
- you know the there is a consquence
- you know that it probably isn't right
This is not acceptable. Mama had a chat with you about this. I basically told you that in America, good children do not do this. You seemed really surprised that I even knew about it. I told you that it is not acceptable behaviour. You said you would not do it again. We will see. Only because I know that parents need to tell the kids the same things repeatedly. So eventually, you will understand it all.
Mama told you that in a couple of weeks, I have another trip to Texas for work. You seemed to take it in stride. I know. It will be a relief to have Mama gone and not always lecturing you for a while. LOL.
I think I need to take better notes for future updates. All I know is all the bad stuff - the things that bug me. I need to start writing down the funny and good stuff that you do. One day. LOL...
One good thing... Daddy was thinking of getting you a basketball hoop for your birthday. Of course I am resigned to a party but it will be an informal open house type of thing - no cake, no singing, no pin the stupid tale on the damn donkey with 50 kids causing mayhem in the house. I would have to leave the house for the weekend at that point. Instead, we will have neighborhood friends and family. You don't know it but Ye Ye and Nai Nai will be here. Good God, I hope you don't pee in your bed the next day! LOLOL!
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 26th
The delivery
Monday morning, Nai Nai helped JJ wake up about 8 a.m.
JJ has very nice manners. We had a talk about how Pikachu would not change.
Some of the other things we did were:
Daddy and I picked you Cassidy up at the checkpoint in Palmer where Daddy had transferred you to Ye Ye last Sunday. It was a long ride home. I am sure it was a long ride back for you. At one point, Daddy asked me to look back at you because you were intensely quiet. You seemed okay. Then 5 minutes later, we checked again and you were crying.
You were sad to be leaving Ye Ye and Nai Nai. Not to mention that Mama and Daddy don't talk much after they come back from a relaxing vacation or after a stressful work day. Anyway, it must have been difficult to leave behind a whole week of child centric activity and two people who were all about you and nothing about you. It was a fast transition for you into the real, normal world where things move faster than do in The Mountains.
I asked you what was wrong and at first you didn't want to tell me. But I know. You were probably thinking "I can't believe I have to leave the two people in the world who do nothing but do things for me, to go far away with two other people who don't pay much attention to me." First, welcome to Life. Second, I reached out and patted your leg and told him that you can always tell Mama and Daddy anything - why you are mad, sad, tired, afraid. and that you would never ever get into trouble for telling us. And so, you said, you didn't want to leave Ye Ye and Nai Nai. And then you cried and cried, but gulping sobs and the tears came down in big big drops.
And Mama and Daddy realized that well... we kinda do have to talk to you! LOL. So we did and things got better and you cheered up and you talked and talked the whole way home. Sigh...
At one point, you asked why Ye Ye and Nai Nai lived so far away. We said because we live near our work and Ye Ye and Nai Nai live near their work. You didn't really iunderstand and if you had had enough English, I am sure there would have been a lot of other questions about that but thankfully, you have to wait until you can speak enough English to ask complicated questions.
At home, you showed us all the things you bought (actually that Ye Ye and Nai Nai bought you along with the gifts from people) and gave us our presents. I really liked my bracelet. It was very very beautiful. And yes, you definitely have an eye for beautiful things.
We were worried about you wetting the bed from separation from Ye Ye and Nai Nai. But we talked to them on SKYPE and you peed before bed and on Tuesday, there was a dry bed with nary a pee in sight! Yahoo. I think we have the formula. Finally!
And that was about it. You missed Ye Ye and Nai Nai for a few days and you talked about The Moutains a lot. We said you might see them soon and we left it at that.
Monday morning, Nai Nai helped JJ wake up about 8 a.m.
JJ has very nice manners. We had a talk about how Pikachu would not change.
Some of the other things we did were:
- see in the "bee tree" leaning about bees
- patience while fishing
- bug bites
- in America, eating small pieces
- it is wet grass in the morning in the mountains
Daddy and I picked you Cassidy up at the checkpoint in Palmer where Daddy had transferred you to Ye Ye last Sunday. It was a long ride home. I am sure it was a long ride back for you. At one point, Daddy asked me to look back at you because you were intensely quiet. You seemed okay. Then 5 minutes later, we checked again and you were crying.
You were sad to be leaving Ye Ye and Nai Nai. Not to mention that Mama and Daddy don't talk much after they come back from a relaxing vacation or after a stressful work day. Anyway, it must have been difficult to leave behind a whole week of child centric activity and two people who were all about you and nothing about you. It was a fast transition for you into the real, normal world where things move faster than do in The Mountains.
I asked you what was wrong and at first you didn't want to tell me. But I know. You were probably thinking "I can't believe I have to leave the two people in the world who do nothing but do things for me, to go far away with two other people who don't pay much attention to me." First, welcome to Life. Second, I reached out and patted your leg and told him that you can always tell Mama and Daddy anything - why you are mad, sad, tired, afraid. and that you would never ever get into trouble for telling us. And so, you said, you didn't want to leave Ye Ye and Nai Nai. And then you cried and cried, but gulping sobs and the tears came down in big big drops.
And Mama and Daddy realized that well... we kinda do have to talk to you! LOL. So we did and things got better and you cheered up and you talked and talked the whole way home. Sigh...
At one point, you asked why Ye Ye and Nai Nai lived so far away. We said because we live near our work and Ye Ye and Nai Nai live near their work. You didn't really iunderstand and if you had had enough English, I am sure there would have been a lot of other questions about that but thankfully, you have to wait until you can speak enough English to ask complicated questions.
At home, you showed us all the things you bought (actually that Ye Ye and Nai Nai bought you along with the gifts from people) and gave us our presents. I really liked my bracelet. It was very very beautiful. And yes, you definitely have an eye for beautiful things.
We were worried about you wetting the bed from separation from Ye Ye and Nai Nai. But we talked to them on SKYPE and you peed before bed and on Tuesday, there was a dry bed with nary a pee in sight! Yahoo. I think we have the formula. Finally!
And that was about it. You missed Ye Ye and Nai Nai for a few days and you talked about The Moutains a lot. We said you might see them soon and we left it at that.
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 25th
It is a cloudy day. A little rainy in the morning. JJ awoke for find Pikachu's life had not changed... Nai Nai was also called to look upstairs. It was discovered sometime in the the night JJ had a bloody nose! While he slept. He was okay all day, though.
JJ has enjoyed talking and seeing hisMommy and Daddy on the computer. He knows tomorrow he will go home.
For breakfast, we had a delicious waffles with maple syrup.
Indoor play included art projects like a Thank you card-picture to Holly and Great Uncle Dom and Great Aunt Shirley.
JJ added to his window picture. He has been talking about his birthday May 8th. In his creation he put triangle hats on his growing window story. He said it is his birthday party.
A tent house was made over the pub table for play. Pikachu of course enjoyed it. After lunch we all took Cassiday for a walk in the woods. It was fun. We looked for the neighbor boy, Vinny Jr., but his family went out.
JJ got to talk on SKYPE with Aunt Judi, Uncle Paul, and Luke who just came in from his baseball game. He tells everyone about being a NY Yankee fan, and often about his birthday, May 8th.
JJ enjoyed playing a little game cube - Mario baseball. Nai Nai even played with him. JJ always won over Nai Nai.
Earlier in the day, Nai Nai began the teaching of a new card game, BS. To make it interesting with three players, Pikachu had his own hand. We need more practice.
After supper and a walk with Cassiday, it was movie time. Before that, however, we talked on SKYPE with Jordan.
The movie choice was Jungle Book, the story of Moguley who didn't want to go to the Man-Village. Moguley wants to stay in the jungle with Balu. It all works out.
Just at bedtime, JJ starts with another bloody nose. At first it was scary. We also took another trip outside to wish on the night star. No stars, only clouds and the moon.
Nai Nai stayed a while with JJ when he was in bed. He said he was sick. Nai Nai wonders if he is lonesome for Daddy and Mommy. A few checks in the night found JJ sleeping peacefully.
JJ has enjoyed talking and seeing hisMommy and Daddy on the computer. He knows tomorrow he will go home.
For breakfast, we had a delicious waffles with maple syrup.
Indoor play included art projects like a Thank you card-picture to Holly and Great Uncle Dom and Great Aunt Shirley.
JJ added to his window picture. He has been talking about his birthday May 8th. In his creation he put triangle hats on his growing window story. He said it is his birthday party.
A tent house was made over the pub table for play. Pikachu of course enjoyed it. After lunch we all took Cassiday for a walk in the woods. It was fun. We looked for the neighbor boy, Vinny Jr., but his family went out.
JJ got to talk on SKYPE with Aunt Judi, Uncle Paul, and Luke who just came in from his baseball game. He tells everyone about being a NY Yankee fan, and often about his birthday, May 8th.
JJ enjoyed playing a little game cube - Mario baseball. Nai Nai even played with him. JJ always won over Nai Nai.
Earlier in the day, Nai Nai began the teaching of a new card game, BS. To make it interesting with three players, Pikachu had his own hand. We need more practice.
After supper and a walk with Cassiday, it was movie time. Before that, however, we talked on SKYPE with Jordan.
The movie choice was Jungle Book, the story of Moguley who didn't want to go to the Man-Village. Moguley wants to stay in the jungle with Balu. It all works out.
Just at bedtime, JJ starts with another bloody nose. At first it was scary. We also took another trip outside to wish on the night star. No stars, only clouds and the moon.
Nai Nai stayed a while with JJ when he was in bed. He said he was sick. Nai Nai wonders if he is lonesome for Daddy and Mommy. A few checks in the night found JJ sleeping peacefully.
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 24th
After breakfast, we all went out shopping.
JJ found a gift for Mommy. It is a surprise.
The sunshine was calling us all outdoors after lunch. We got ready to fix the garden and plant seeds. But the neighbor family also came out to play. So JJ made a new friend. His name is Vinny Jr. They played out doors, running, sliding, and with boy toys. Later, JJ and Ye Ye finally were ready to come play in the gardens.
Ye Ye dug the garden with the small roto tiller until nice and fluffy. JJ tested it by making hand prints, knees and foot prints. Later, he used the rake to smooth out between the rows.
JJ helped Nai Nai plant many different seeds. Rows of radishes, peas, carrots, and lettuces. The seeds are different shapes. A pea seed is much bigger than a carrot seed.
A nice grilled chicken for dinner finished our outside day.
But before the indoor time, Ye Ye made a small fire in the fire pit circle. We all sat around it. Nai Nai read several stories from a new book of "Toad and Frog are Friends."
The movie pick for tonight is Pinocchio. JJ said many times he has seen this movie in China. He did enjoy it. Then he hadna idea. He wanted to make a wiwsh on the Wishing Star. So Nai Nai and JJ went out after the movie in the fark to make his wish.
The wish: That Pikachu would become real!
JJ found a gift for Mommy. It is a surprise.
The sunshine was calling us all outdoors after lunch. We got ready to fix the garden and plant seeds. But the neighbor family also came out to play. So JJ made a new friend. His name is Vinny Jr. They played out doors, running, sliding, and with boy toys. Later, JJ and Ye Ye finally were ready to come play in the gardens.
Ye Ye dug the garden with the small roto tiller until nice and fluffy. JJ tested it by making hand prints, knees and foot prints. Later, he used the rake to smooth out between the rows.
JJ helped Nai Nai plant many different seeds. Rows of radishes, peas, carrots, and lettuces. The seeds are different shapes. A pea seed is much bigger than a carrot seed.
A nice grilled chicken for dinner finished our outside day.
But before the indoor time, Ye Ye made a small fire in the fire pit circle. We all sat around it. Nai Nai read several stories from a new book of "Toad and Frog are Friends."
The movie pick for tonight is Pinocchio. JJ said many times he has seen this movie in China. He did enjoy it. Then he hadna idea. He wanted to make a wiwsh on the Wishing Star. So Nai Nai and JJ went out after the movie in the fark to make his wish.
The wish: That Pikachu would become real!
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 23rd
Breakfast was a learning for Nai Nai and JJ
He likes egg with a soft yolk. So Nai Nai took out the frying pan for eggs. JJ kept saying 'No." He wanted them cooked in the water.
"I know, I know." Okay. Nai Nai started the poached egg pan pan with its little cups.
JJ frowned, told her "no, no."
"I know, I know," Nai Nai said, "yes." Finally Nai Nai understood boiled eggs. So, JJ had 2 soft yolks of poached eggs. Then he had a boiled egg. It was all good.
After breakfast, we took the car trip to see the Museum, to see and touch the baby animals. And of course, to run outdoors.
We touched many babies! Cows, chickens, bunny, sheep, rabbit, goats. I did not feel the piglets.
JJ fed the cows. The cow's tongue is l-o-n-g! They grab the hay grass with their long tongue, quickly! It was fun!
JJ liked the map, too. Later, at home, JJ played with the same cars and trucks for a long time. And he was singing.
Nai Nai read a story book, "Julius." It had a "J" that Joseph had put there when he was learning to write.
Great Aunt Shirley, Uncle Dom and Holly came to the house. They brought gifts. Holly gave JJ her box of Pokemon cards, with Pikachu. Great Aunt Shirley and Uncle Don gave JJ a soft monkey. The monkey slept with Pikachu at night.
After dinner, JJ picked the Bambi movie.
Dear JJ has bug bites. They itch. We think he got them fishing. He is not used to the American bugs... We put stop itching medicine on them.
We also played with bubbles. That is an outside time.
In bed for the night time, he talked about "bad people." Nai Nai told him he was safe here.
He likes egg with a soft yolk. So Nai Nai took out the frying pan for eggs. JJ kept saying 'No." He wanted them cooked in the water.
"I know, I know." Okay. Nai Nai started the poached egg pan pan with its little cups.
JJ frowned, told her "no, no."
"I know, I know," Nai Nai said, "yes." Finally Nai Nai understood boiled eggs. So, JJ had 2 soft yolks of poached eggs. Then he had a boiled egg. It was all good.
After breakfast, we took the car trip to see the Museum, to see and touch the baby animals. And of course, to run outdoors.
We touched many babies! Cows, chickens, bunny, sheep, rabbit, goats. I did not feel the piglets.
JJ fed the cows. The cow's tongue is l-o-n-g! They grab the hay grass with their long tongue, quickly! It was fun!
JJ liked the map, too. Later, at home, JJ played with the same cars and trucks for a long time. And he was singing.
Nai Nai read a story book, "Julius." It had a "J" that Joseph had put there when he was learning to write.
Great Aunt Shirley, Uncle Dom and Holly came to the house. They brought gifts. Holly gave JJ her box of Pokemon cards, with Pikachu. Great Aunt Shirley and Uncle Don gave JJ a soft monkey. The monkey slept with Pikachu at night.
After dinner, JJ picked the Bambi movie.
Dear JJ has bug bites. They itch. We think he got them fishing. He is not used to the American bugs... We put stop itching medicine on them.
We also played with bubbles. That is an outside time.
In bed for the night time, he talked about "bad people." Nai Nai told him he was safe here.
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 22nd
In the morning, JJ used shapes of "colorforms" to make a great window art picture. It has people, a house with a symbol "Happy New Year". Also, it has a French window with a cow.
We walked Cassidy outside early and late.
JJ worked outside in the sunshine with Ye Ye. They gave the grapevine a branch cutting! JJ helped put the pieces it the wagon. When all done, JJ helped Ye Ye drive the tractor.
After a good lunch of hot dogs plus, JJ went to a truck ride and met Nai Nai to say hello to her firends at work. He listened not to run at work. JJ does a lot of fun running outside.
He played with the cars and truck waiting for Nai Nai to come from work. JJ had also played came cube for a little while. Then we did a quick shopping for oots beause the grass is wet in the mornings in the mountains. We got nice black and blue ones.
We all went to dinner at a restaurant. We met Great Uncle Mike ("GUM"), Great Aunt Leslie, Great Uncle John, and Great Aunt Sylvia. We had a lot of fun.
At home, JJ talked again with Mom and Daddy with the computer.
JJ's pick for the movie was Peter Pan. He liked it. JJ still is singing.
During the day, he observed a lttle chiadee building a nest in the birdhouse at the garden as he played. The bird worked for hours.
With Nai Nai in the morning we made food for the hummingbirds, and put up the feeder outside the kitchen window.
We walked Cassidy outside early and late.
JJ worked outside in the sunshine with Ye Ye. They gave the grapevine a branch cutting! JJ helped put the pieces it the wagon. When all done, JJ helped Ye Ye drive the tractor.
After a good lunch of hot dogs plus, JJ went to a truck ride and met Nai Nai to say hello to her firends at work. He listened not to run at work. JJ does a lot of fun running outside.
He played with the cars and truck waiting for Nai Nai to come from work. JJ had also played came cube for a little while. Then we did a quick shopping for oots beause the grass is wet in the mornings in the mountains. We got nice black and blue ones.
We all went to dinner at a restaurant. We met Great Uncle Mike ("GUM"), Great Aunt Leslie, Great Uncle John, and Great Aunt Sylvia. We had a lot of fun.
At home, JJ talked again with Mom and Daddy with the computer.
JJ's pick for the movie was Peter Pan. He liked it. JJ still is singing.
During the day, he observed a lttle chiadee building a nest in the birdhouse at the garden as he played. The bird worked for hours.
With Nai Nai in the morning we made food for the hummingbirds, and put up the feeder outside the kitchen window.
Vacation at Ye Ye and Nai Nai's: April 21st
A very nice sunny day
Nai Nai went to work.
Ye Ye and JJ went outdoors to play.
Nai Nai and JJ used bubbles for fun.
Ye Ye and JJ raked, put sticks in the wagon and used the tractor. After lunch with Nai Nai, the boys found more worms for fishing. JJ took a l-o-n-g worm from the garden.
Fishing takes waiting, waiting! Finally, a fish pulled on the line! Ye Ye said, "careful, careful" wheeling in. The fish was wiggly in JJ's hand. JJ played in the lake water, near the edge. It was fun. Ye Ye told JJ to let the fish go back into the water. JJ said, "Why? I want to eat him." But he very slowly placed the fish in the water. He swam away.
After dinner we had a movie JJ chose: "Mickey Mouse and Friends at Christmas."
Nai Nai went to work.
Ye Ye and JJ went outdoors to play.
Nai Nai and JJ used bubbles for fun.
Ye Ye and JJ raked, put sticks in the wagon and used the tractor. After lunch with Nai Nai, the boys found more worms for fishing. JJ took a l-o-n-g worm from the garden.
Fishing takes waiting, waiting! Finally, a fish pulled on the line! Ye Ye said, "careful, careful" wheeling in. The fish was wiggly in JJ's hand. JJ played in the lake water, near the edge. It was fun. Ye Ye told JJ to let the fish go back into the water. JJ said, "Why? I want to eat him." But he very slowly placed the fish in the water. He swam away.
After dinner we had a movie JJ chose: "Mickey Mouse and Friends at Christmas."
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Vacation at Ye Ye & Nai Nai's: April 20th
After breakfast, we went shopping
JJ found a Pikachu to bring home! And a book with toys from Toy Story.
We found sunglasses for JJ with Spiderman on them.
JJ learned to know his address, where he lives. He can say it and write it by himself.
After lunch, we went fishing. But first we had to find worms. We took a shovel down to the leaves compost. Many worms live there. Ye Ye and JJ put them in the worm box.
We went fishing at the lake. On the fishing pole a reel and a bobber and a fishing line. Fishing was good, but no fish! :o( We will go fishing again.
We went to Ye Ye's sister's home. Aunt Shirleyran around with JJ. She used to run around with JJ's Daddy.
Uncle Dom said he likes the Red Sox and got his hat. He saw JJ's NY Yankees hat. Uncle Dom told JJ ghe had heart surgery. He said the doctors gave him a chicken heart.
We had a "worm race." JJ's worm won the race in the garden.
At home JJ played with toys, and Pikachu went everywhere. So Nai Nai made a pocket for Pikachu to travel in.
JJ loves to be on the gliding swing. He goes high. He even jumps off. It is very good for a wiggley jiggley boy.
After dinner, a shower and a move with Curious George. Mommy and Daddy called on the computer. They took an airplane trip. We saw where they were. We talked. Then bedtime.
JJ found a Pikachu to bring home! And a book with toys from Toy Story.
We found sunglasses for JJ with Spiderman on them.
JJ learned to know his address, where he lives. He can say it and write it by himself.
After lunch, we went fishing. But first we had to find worms. We took a shovel down to the leaves compost. Many worms live there. Ye Ye and JJ put them in the worm box.
We went fishing at the lake. On the fishing pole a reel and a bobber and a fishing line. Fishing was good, but no fish! :o( We will go fishing again.
We went to Ye Ye's sister's home. Aunt Shirleyran around with JJ. She used to run around with JJ's Daddy.
Uncle Dom said he likes the Red Sox and got his hat. He saw JJ's NY Yankees hat. Uncle Dom told JJ ghe had heart surgery. He said the doctors gave him a chicken heart.
We had a "worm race." JJ's worm won the race in the garden.
At home JJ played with toys, and Pikachu went everywhere. So Nai Nai made a pocket for Pikachu to travel in.
JJ loves to be on the gliding swing. He goes high. He even jumps off. It is very good for a wiggley jiggley boy.
After dinner, a shower and a move with Curious George. Mommy and Daddy called on the computer. They took an airplane trip. We saw where they were. We talked. Then bedtime.
Vacation at Ye Ye and Nai Nai's: April 19th
Patriot's Day: Boston Marathon **
We, Nai Nai and JJ, made a LEGO's helicopter.
We all watched the race. We looked for Daddy on the TV, and his running time with the computer. Ye Ye found for us.
JJ learned Daddy's telephone number.
He helped Ye Ye crack eggs for breakfast. JJ sings after. He is happy and content, shows in his songs.
We the blue tents on the TV where Mommy was helping.
We saw the fast runners working hard. We saw the winners/. We saw how tired and hot and working so hard,, really hard work the wheel chair people. Daddy runs really hard.
We went in the afternoon to the museum called MOCA. At MOCA,in the "Kidspace" we had so much fun. JJ created using recycleables a 3D monkey. Everyone was very impressed with his creative thought.
Ye Ye and Nai Nai followed JJ's instructions, helping with the "cutting, hot glue." He saw the melting (and heat) of the plastic water bottles. The bottles were the bases for the monkey's body.
And Jasper made lovely drawing of his home for Mama and Baba.
We then went into the big part of the museum.
JJ was asked by an artist named Steve to help with his museum exhibit. JJ twisted and signed paper, he twisted into a long root.
We saw and liked art made from food. We saw a big cealing to floor art using candy wrappers. We saw a picture of a lion made out of broccoli. Nai Nai took a photo of JJ wiuth it. JJ did not want to leave "Kidspace." But the place was closing!
JJ really liked the big museum areas. He could run! He also saw the upside down growing trees.
We also went out to dinner at the Chinese restaurant, Chopstix. He enjoyed his supper, sushi salmon, plus, half of Ye Ye and some of Nai Nai's. He saidfortune cookies are Chinese.
On the way home, we drove over to see small planes at the airport. There were no helicopters.
Every night before bed (after we are ready) it is movie time. We have been watching Curious George. The cartoons are about planting, worms, composting, and recycling. We like it.
We, Nai Nai and JJ, made a LEGO's helicopter.
We all watched the race. We looked for Daddy on the TV, and his running time with the computer. Ye Ye found for us.
JJ learned Daddy's telephone number.
He helped Ye Ye crack eggs for breakfast. JJ sings after. He is happy and content, shows in his songs.
We the blue tents on the TV where Mommy was helping.
We saw the fast runners working hard. We saw the winners/. We saw how tired and hot and working so hard,, really hard work the wheel chair people. Daddy runs really hard.
We went in the afternoon to the museum called MOCA. At MOCA,in the "Kidspace" we had so much fun. JJ created using recycleables a 3D monkey. Everyone was very impressed with his creative thought.
Ye Ye and Nai Nai followed JJ's instructions, helping with the "cutting, hot glue." He saw the melting (and heat) of the plastic water bottles. The bottles were the bases for the monkey's body.
And Jasper made lovely drawing of his home for Mama and Baba.
We then went into the big part of the museum.
JJ was asked by an artist named Steve to help with his museum exhibit. JJ twisted and signed paper, he twisted into a long root.
We saw and liked art made from food. We saw a big cealing to floor art using candy wrappers. We saw a picture of a lion made out of broccoli. Nai Nai took a photo of JJ wiuth it. JJ did not want to leave "Kidspace." But the place was closing!
JJ really liked the big museum areas. He could run! He also saw the upside down growing trees.
We also went out to dinner at the Chinese restaurant, Chopstix. He enjoyed his supper, sushi salmon, plus, half of Ye Ye and some of Nai Nai's. He saidfortune cookies are Chinese.
On the way home, we drove over to see small planes at the airport. There were no helicopters.
Every night before bed (after we are ready) it is movie time. We have been watching Curious George. The cartoons are about planting, worms, composting, and recycling. We like it.
Vacation at Ye Ye and Nai Nai's: April 18th
Sunday: The Ride to Ye Ye & Nai Nai's house was l-o-n-g.
"Nai Nai and JJ baked up some muffins (pumpkin with red currants). JJ really liked breaking eggs into a bowl --- and, the electric mixer.
Jasper & ye Ye enjoyed the game cube.
We all took Cassidy walking. It was cold and rainy.
We made ice pops also called popscicles because JJ likes ice.
Yet he often wants his milk warmed."
"Nai Nai and JJ baked up some muffins (pumpkin with red currants). JJ really liked breaking eggs into a bowl --- and, the electric mixer.
Jasper & ye Ye enjoyed the game cube.
We all took Cassidy walking. It was cold and rainy.
We made ice pops also called popscicles because JJ likes ice.
Yet he often wants his milk warmed."
Vacation at Ye Ye and Nai Nai's
During the week of April 19th, you spent a week at Ye Ye and Nai Nai's house. As luck would have it, it was not only your school vacation week, but Monday was Patriot's Day, which is also Boston Marathon day. Not to mention that on Saturday, it was our 6th wedding anniversary. And to celebrate, Baba decided that we would go to St. Lucia to Ladera Resort - not exactly a kid friendly place. And quite frankly, I needed some downtime away from the low-grade stress of dealing with a child all the time. Although one would argue I dealt less with you than Baba did.
I had also volunteered to do Elite Security detail again at the marathon - something I usually do when I am not running. And Lauren and Brian were also here to volunteer with me. And Baba was running. So we didn't know what exactly we were going to do with you. But it all worked out. All I have to say is Thank God for Ye Ye and Nai Nai!
Marathon weekend is a crazy weekend for us. We usually have about 13-15 people stay at the house, most of them runners. This was a light year - we had only 2 runners (Mary and Baba) and about 7 other people who were their to just volunteer.
Saturday night, we went to Big City for the Annual Marathon Dinner Encounter. You met a lot of Mama and Baba's friends, and Carrie also came with us. I made it clear to you that on this particular night, Carrie was not working. She was there as Mama's friend and to meet people. So, you happily occupied yourself with Little John (son of our friend John Young) and the two of you played pool together. It was fabulous.
Sunday Morning, Baba took you to Palmer, an hour away, where Ye Ye and Nai Nai met you to take you to The Mountains. And then he came back home.
When we picked you up a week later, Nai Nai handed me a diary of all the things you did while you were visiting them. And the next few entries are from the diary.
I had also volunteered to do Elite Security detail again at the marathon - something I usually do when I am not running. And Lauren and Brian were also here to volunteer with me. And Baba was running. So we didn't know what exactly we were going to do with you. But it all worked out. All I have to say is Thank God for Ye Ye and Nai Nai!
Marathon weekend is a crazy weekend for us. We usually have about 13-15 people stay at the house, most of them runners. This was a light year - we had only 2 runners (Mary and Baba) and about 7 other people who were their to just volunteer.
Saturday night, we went to Big City for the Annual Marathon Dinner Encounter. You met a lot of Mama and Baba's friends, and Carrie also came with us. I made it clear to you that on this particular night, Carrie was not working. She was there as Mama's friend and to meet people. So, you happily occupied yourself with Little John (son of our friend John Young) and the two of you played pool together. It was fabulous.
Sunday Morning, Baba took you to Palmer, an hour away, where Ye Ye and Nai Nai met you to take you to The Mountains. And then he came back home.
When we picked you up a week later, Nai Nai handed me a diary of all the things you did while you were visiting them. And the next few entries are from the diary.
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