8 weeks

Dear JJ,

So, let me make this perfectly clear... your mama is NOT a very patient person. And when she knows that something is pending or looming ahead of her, she is EXCEEDINLY IMPATIENT. And I just want you to know that I have Now. Reached. Beyond. Exceedingly. Seriously.

Anyway... it's been a while since we sent you the care package. By now you know all about us. I hope you are looking at that photo album we sent you and looking at the picture book of your new country and New England area where you will be living.

We are going into the 10th week from the time we got the confirmation of pre-approval from China. We are now waiting for the Letter of Agreement. Every single week, we send an "Anything?" email to our Agency. The last thing we heard almost two weeks ago is that we have moved up another room and this is the room that they review for the LOA. THANK GOD! That is all I have to say. When they talk about a slow boat from China, they were NOT KIDDING!

Anyway, I cannot wait to get you home. I cannot wait to hug you and squeeze and love you to death. I cannot wait to fatten you up! And practice my Chinese with you.

Hmmm... I am sure I am looking more forward to that last one than you are! LOL!

Anyway... I wanted to check in and let you know that we are still thinking of you and where we are with the Agency and China process and to let you know that this SLOW MARCH is NOT MY CHOICE! In fact, I am getting ready to POKE. MY. EYES. OUT!

Of course, I won't do that.

As soon as we hear anything, we will let you know.
Until them, we love you very much and cannot wait for you to come home.
I remember your voice always - "how are you... RIGHT?"
I will NEVER EVER forget it.

Love,
Mama

It's my birthday

Dear JJ,

Well I am another year older today. That means you will have a really old Mommy relative to your friends. But I bet I look younger or as young as they. So it will be our little secret.

I got your card. Oh, I know. Daddy got it for you for me. :o) and it made me cry. I wish you were here to give me a big hug too. I can't wait for that day.

Oh, and yes. I love you too.
Wo ai ni.


Love,
Mama

Processing Now

Dear JJ,

We heard back from the Agency this morning.
Supposedly, they are processing our file now.
When I asked what "processing now" meant, I was told, Yes, they are looking at it NOW.
After they are through looking at it, they will issue a Letter of Acceptance (LOA).
We will go into the Agency and sign this LOA right away.
This will get sent back to China.

When China receives it, they will send us the Travel Approval (TA).
While this is happening, we will go ahead and make travel plans.

Right now they are hoping that we will be able to travel during the week of August 16th.
But anytime before the end of August would be considered very fast.
It cannot get here fast enough for me!

We have been in the process of talking to the school district here.
They have a big Chinese program in one of the schools. It's not the one that is two blocks from the house and we will have to drive to it but it is only a mile away. The one that is two blocks away also has a new Chinese program. We will pick whichever one is the best for you.

We are very excited to be seeing you soon and bringing you home.
We can't wait!

Love,
Mama

Package from Home

Dear JJ,

By now you should have received a package from home. We mailed it last Friday and you should have it by now. I hope you like all the things in it. And I hope you share them with your friends there. And don't worry about bringing the toys home with you because we can always get you more when you get here.

We mailed you two shirts because we don't know your size yet. And I hope you and the nannies there will take a lot of pictures with the camera. We'll develop them once we get the camera back so we can share with you a little bit of your life there.

I hope you enjoy looking through the photo album. Daddy got a good one, didn't he? I hope you can read the labels I made in Chinese identifying your relatives. And then there is that picture book of Massachusetts so you know what thngs might look like around here.

I hope you are happy to be coming home with us, hopefully, soon. Our Chinese teacher said the other kids will be jealous when they find out about your family in America. That they will say, "Meiguo? You're going to Meiguo?". And she said the nannies will tell you that you will live in a hotel. That made me laugh. You will NOT live in a hotel.

I hope you are excited to be with us. I know it will be sad to leave your friends. But you will make new ones. And maybe one day you will be able to see them again. You never know what life will bring.

But most of all I hope you are not afraid.

I love you.
Mama

Your Name

Dear JJ,

Your Daddy and I picked out a name for you a year ago.

Your first name is Jasper. Jasper was one of the three wise kings who came from the east, bearing gifts for the Baby Jesus, who was born poor, to an unwed mother, and who born in a manger withe ox, cow, sheep and other farm animals. We thought how fitting it is that the name of a king, rich and wise, from the east, should bestow his name on a poor orphan. The gift of a name that has more meaning and irony in it than any other name that we could think of. And we hope that you will have bestowed on you the wisdom, charity, kindness and riches for a king.

Your second name is Joseph. You are named after your Daddy. Your Daddy is funny, fun, full of life, always wondering and questioning, smart and outgoing, caring and thoughtful, and I hope that you can be like him. Joseph was the name of a Carpenter. He was the father of Jesus, who took the Baby Jesus into his family and heart, even though Jesus was not his own son. He was patient, persistent, and worked very hard. He is also the patron saint of China (among other countries) and he prays for families, fathers, travellers, immigrants, craftsmen, and working people in general. I think this name is very fitting for you.

Your Chinese name is Zhong Cai, given to you by the orphanage when they received you. It means Talent or Wise.

Since you are 8 years old, we decided that it was important for you to keep something with you from China when you came to live with us. And the only thing left was your name. And memories of a life that may fade as you get older, and as new memories push out the old. When you are old enough, you can decide what name you want to use. I know lots of boys who have used different names at different places in their lives and finally settle on one name when they have finished school and settled into work.

Names are important to Koreans. And so, I hope we have given you names that will help and support you in your life and your future.

We love you,

Mama

Letter of Approval

Dear JJ,

We got a little brown envelope in the mail the other day. Daddy told me about it over the phone because Mama was in California for work. And when I got home, Daddy showed it to me.

When Daddy explained to me what was in it, I didn't believe it. A "notice" that had the top half in Chinese characters and the bottom half in English - I think that the English was the translation of the Chinese, and a mailing label and a customs declaration.

Hmmm.
That was it.
No explanation, no letter or note...

So we will wait for Meg the Social Worker to come back next week and she will be able to explain it in great detail.

The notice from China said:

" The Application of [your daddy] and [your mama] for the adoption of YUN ZHONG CAI from Beijing Children's Welfare Institute, Beijing of Beijing province that you submitted was received, It is hereby advised that with a review of the basic family situation and the Rehabilitation and Nurture Plan for the Child made by the family, the China Centre of Adoption Affairs agrees to handle and process the case as an adoption of the special-need child after the application file arrives (deadline September 15, 2009, that day inclusive).

China Centre of Adoptiona Affairs"

The application they approved was our Letter of Intent that outlined your doctors, tutors, special education teachers, etc. and you health insurance information. That was sent to them on June 10th.

Then on the 15th, the approval must of verbally come into our Agency because we were told that they were sending our Dossier - the application file they mention above - was sent on Tuesday, the 16th.

Hopefully, they will review and approve the dossier quickly so we can hear back that we can travel to get you.

Mama's passport also came back in record time. What typically takes 3-6 weeks, took only 2 weeks. Wow. Someone is watching out for us.

So, in the care package, we will definitely be sending you a Life is Good t-shirt, a Yankee baseball hat, maybe a bionical (because your cousin Luke is your age and loves to play with bionicals), and a few other things we can think of in addition to the photo album. We hope to send this to you in the next two weeks.

We are so excited. And every day, the excitement builds. I can't wait to see you.

Love,
Mama

Silence

JJ,

I am sitting here in the dining room. Mom is on a plane coming back from a business trip. The house is quiet, silence only broken by Boris meowing from time to time. I am listening to the walls. They are full of life and laughter. This is a house that was meant for a family. It was not meant to be silent.

Soon you will be here and the silence will be replaced with laughter and questioning and debates. You are just like me. You will ask mom so many questions she will tell you to go ask your father. I will answer them all. Sometimes with a question back to you. It will help you learn to think, reason and live deliberately. Mom will tell you more about living life this way. Yet I think she will also tell you that it is how daddy lives everyday.

I can't wait. Hang in there a little bit longer.

Care Package

Dear JJ:

You Daddy forwarded me the following message from the Agency to the families whose LOI (Letter of Intent) were recently approved. This approval also meant that our Dossier of paperwork was going to be sent to China for the final, more detailed review, which it was on Monday. The letter from the Agency said:

For the care package, please decide when is the good time to send it. If you are still early in the process, the wait can feel very long for some children. If you plan to send several packages during the wait time, it may be just fine to send it now.

If you can include a family album in the package, it will prepare the children for placement. Any items you want your kids to hang in with please feel free to send. Just remember, the mailing cost can be huge if you send too many stuff!

I am very excited for the children. Recently I had chance to talk to a boy. Hearing his voice was overwhelming and I lost my sleep that night feeling upset that all these kids started their life this sad. I am happy now they have parents love them.

Our staff will do anything everything to move along as fast as possible. Still it will be a long process. Please understand and help us, too, to reach our children.

Guess who that little boy was?

This means that you will be getting a package from us, your family. When Meg from the Agency comes back from her honeymoon next week, we will call her and ask what we have to do and what this really means.

I am so excited to be sending you pictures of us and your family of aunts and uncles and cousins and friends.

This means we are one step closer to bringing you home.

We love you and we miss you.
We can't wait to have you home with us.
Love,
Mama

I think we're approved

Dear JJ,

Here is the latest update.
On Tuesday, we were notified by the Agency that our paperwork was being sent to China. This is a large volume of paper called the Dossier that has about hundred different types of paperwork in it. It has been translated into Chinese and it is being sent to China. Once they get it there, they will read the translation, ensure that everything is valid, and then review in detail the information we submitted.

Once ths is done, and they find nothing wrong, they will send us a formal letter of approval.

The good news is that we only sent the Dossier when they have approved our formal letter of intent to adopt you. And that was sent last Wednesday. It's less than a week! So things are definitely chugging along.

Also, since I am in San Francisco for work, Daddy sent me an email telling me that my passport renewal has been returned with my old passport. And that was supposed to take 3-6 weeks. I think it only took a couple of weeks.

I hope this momentum continues.

I wanted to check in let you know where we are with things.

I can't stay and write for too long as I have people waiting in the hotel lobby for me.

I love you.

Mama

Things are Chugging Along

Dear JJ,

Well, the news is better day by day so I thought I would give you a brief update.
First, China has approved our application to adopt.
Yesterday, the agency sent to China our Letter of Intention, telling them that we wanted to adopt YOU. Haha!

Next they will send us an approval for you and our dossier will go to China.

Then we wil get a formal letter of approval from China for our signatures and we will mail to back to CCAA.

Then they will issue you us a Travel Approval.

Basically....we are full speed ahead!

The agency is rushing us through. No 6 month long process for us. They are trying to right a whole year of delays by pushing China to get everything done in record time. Meg says that we are a HUGE priority for them. And the longest any of this would take is about 6 months. But that is the LONGEST. Ours should take a shorter time than that. The only thing that could delay our travel is the H1N1 flu virus. It's really messing things up!

We have decided not to do anything to your room.
In fact, when you get here, you can decide which room you want.
And when we are in China we will take you shopping for all the things you want to bring back with you.
And when we get here, we will go shopping all over again to get you anything else you might need or want.

I have never felt so hurried. A whole year has gone by and I keep thinking, "What a waste. It's such a shame." But things happen for a reason. And what is meant to be will always be. We have to have faith and make the right decisions and things always work out for the best.

We are coming, JJ.
Hang on tight.

Love,
Mama

If you didn't have us at Ni Hao

It was all over when you said: Wo xihuan pao bu.

JJ,

You didn't know when you had the phone call from a friend in America that we were finalizing our approval. You spoke to a boy Niles. I hope you become good friends.

You can know we are doing everything we can to get you sooner.

The Fickle Finger of Fate

I am holding my breath and I dare not think it. I dare not say it out loud, lest you are only a dream.

I dreamt of a child two weeks ago.
A child who was older, who had come to live with us.
Who appeared magically and suddenly.
I remembered telling Daddy, there is a child.
It was new to me. And I wasn't altogether comfortable.
I wondered to myself where this child had come from.
But the child was familiar to me, even though I didn't know him/her (I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl), and I knew they were here to stay forever, that it wasn't going back.

So, when Meg called and asked me if I was sitting down, I thought we had gotten your meimei.

But it was you.
I dare not speak your name out loud.
Lest you disappear once again.

I never said goodbye

JJ,

You will notice I never said good bye. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it was because I never believed it was good bye. It was the way it ended.

I wondered.

A part of me still believed.

I 'm not sure what or who or why I believed. I am not sure when I thought we would be reconnected. Occasionally, we would hear from Meg at the agency that you never came back into the system. Part of me thought someone in China had wanted you and that was why China said no. I hoped for you it was true.

Part of me thought we would get to China for your mei mei and you would be waiting for us. I guess that might still be true but will you be waiting with us?

Meg called yesterday. China wanted to know if we still wanted you. There was not moment of hesitation. Of course we did. Ma ma and I have been running crazy since the call yesterday. We still don't fully believe it. We are afraid to tell anyone that maybe you will be coming home.

We are waiting until we redo some paperwork and get final approval. However, if Meg and Lillian have their way we might be coming to Beijing this summer. I hope you are ready for a roller coaster, because if it is true. If you are coming. If it is going to be as fast as they think. Hang on because all of us are going to be moving at Boris speed. Boris is our male kitty that goes like 70 miles an hour in everything then crashes and sleep. Kinda sounds like dad.

I think you felt our presence and never let it go and we will never let you go.

Dad.