After two months of documentation flowing back and forth between me and the American Government, proving you are not stolen, illegal or purchased illegally (you were legal :o) ) we received your official American Passport in the mail yesterday.
You are indeed fortunate. This is a document that people have forged, bought, stolen, and begged for, all the world over. Some have died trying to get it while others have killed for it. And for the rest of us who get it the traditional way, they must wait years. Sometimes tens of years. I wanted 15 years.
And you got it for just BEING. Yes. You are truly fortunate.
I hope you respect this right to be an American, treasure it always, never abuse it, and make this country proud. You have a long way to go to earning this gift. And it is a gift. As an immigrant and having visited the country of my birth, as well as other countries where "coming to America" is a goal in and of itself, I am passionate about paying back for this gift every single day.
You are unspeakably fortunate. And one day, you'll understand.
But knowing you, I think you probably already do.
Love,
Mama
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Pain Response
I have noticed that you have a high tolerance for pain. When we first got home, you were pretty much ok being given shots, being poked and prodded and then getting your teeth pulled all of the pain that goes along with that.
You didn't really say much the first few times. You didn't cry, moan or whine, either. But once, Daddy said that you were not crying out but you had a few tears coming down your cheeks when you were given the shot at the dentist. Maybe the need hit a nerve or a bad spot, or maybe the local didn't take effect as well. Who knows. But we knew that you really felt it because you have a high pain tolerance. But is that still the case?
The last time I went with you to the dentist (I think it was your 6th or 7th teeth to be pulled), you moaned and groaned and tensed your shoulders and gripped the dental assistant's hands so tight that your fingers turned white.
All of the prior times, you were pretty stoic about it. I have read that due to the way pain is managed in China when orphanage kids have surgeries (sometimes no pain medications afterward) and the possible cultural differences in pain management, they have to live through the pain of post surgery. So you get used to it and build up a tolerance.
I also imagine that you don't have these emotion-filled Mama's and Baba's who sit next to you massaging your legs and hands, crying along with you. Not that I would do such a thing to begin with. Anyway, I imagine that the Nannies had too many children to be able to sit and coddle any single individual when so many were probably sick at any given time, while other children ran around in mayhem. Of course, that's controlled mayhem because the institution, from my understanding, is a very strict, regimented and militaristic place.
I remember when I was younger, the only thing I got for a stomach ache was a tummy rubbing to calm down the muscles of the abdomen. Other than that? Nothing.
So it was interesting to me that over time, your pain tolerance seems to be decreasing by a notch. And I mean a hair of a notch because it's still pretty high. But then I wonder because the last time you got a scratch on your elbow from fall down at school, you whined and complained enough that I told you to that it is supposed to hurt, and it's good that you have another elbow. You laughed at that idea.
Could it be that the attention you get from the dentist's office, or the touching and hand squeezing you get from the assistant is something that you crave, so physically, your body adapts to that change and it allows you to feel more pain?
Regardless, it will be interesting to see if your pain tolerance continues to go down. I know it will plateau at some point. Probably won't go too low though due to early training and early expectations.
You didn't really say much the first few times. You didn't cry, moan or whine, either. But once, Daddy said that you were not crying out but you had a few tears coming down your cheeks when you were given the shot at the dentist. Maybe the need hit a nerve or a bad spot, or maybe the local didn't take effect as well. Who knows. But we knew that you really felt it because you have a high pain tolerance. But is that still the case?
The last time I went with you to the dentist (I think it was your 6th or 7th teeth to be pulled), you moaned and groaned and tensed your shoulders and gripped the dental assistant's hands so tight that your fingers turned white.
All of the prior times, you were pretty stoic about it. I have read that due to the way pain is managed in China when orphanage kids have surgeries (sometimes no pain medications afterward) and the possible cultural differences in pain management, they have to live through the pain of post surgery. So you get used to it and build up a tolerance.
I also imagine that you don't have these emotion-filled Mama's and Baba's who sit next to you massaging your legs and hands, crying along with you. Not that I would do such a thing to begin with. Anyway, I imagine that the Nannies had too many children to be able to sit and coddle any single individual when so many were probably sick at any given time, while other children ran around in mayhem. Of course, that's controlled mayhem because the institution, from my understanding, is a very strict, regimented and militaristic place.
I remember when I was younger, the only thing I got for a stomach ache was a tummy rubbing to calm down the muscles of the abdomen. Other than that? Nothing.
So it was interesting to me that over time, your pain tolerance seems to be decreasing by a notch. And I mean a hair of a notch because it's still pretty high. But then I wonder because the last time you got a scratch on your elbow from fall down at school, you whined and complained enough that I told you to that it is supposed to hurt, and it's good that you have another elbow. You laughed at that idea.
Could it be that the attention you get from the dentist's office, or the touching and hand squeezing you get from the assistant is something that you crave, so physically, your body adapts to that change and it allows you to feel more pain?
Regardless, it will be interesting to see if your pain tolerance continues to go down. I know it will plateau at some point. Probably won't go too low though due to early training and early expectations.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Another Tooth Pull
Today you went to the dentist for another tooth pull. I think it might be your 6th or 7th. There have been so many, I've lost count.
This one came by order of the Cleft Dentist, Dr. Kennedy.
Turns out that there was an abscess on your tooth and when Dr. Defeo pulled your lip up to show me, there was a white pustule at the fold of your gums where your lip and gums come together. It looked painful. She said that it sometimes happens when the tooth has decay but the adult canines start to push down on the tooth and the roots start to erode (which is normal). That canine had already started to wiggle anyway.
You got a big shot with a big needle and you got all nervous and agitated but afterwards, you laughed about how your mouth felt bit but it didn't look big.
The more language you get, the more you complain, too. Instead of sitting still, you moaned and groaned like this was your first time going through it. The only thing that I can think of is that you are more comfortable with me and are no longer afraid that if you start to make noise that we won't love you or that we will send you back to China. But I did remind you that it was no different than the first few times when you didn't make any noise at all. So, I told you to suck it up or it was gonna hurt worse - which the doctor also confirmed. "Don't move, Jasper..."
After I dropped you off from school, the school nurse called and about 10 minutes later and told me that it was "bleeding considerably." Uh, he got his tooth pulled. Keep the gauze in. She said she had already changed it. So I told her that it was not supposed to be disturbed for 15 minutes and obviously it wasn't 15 minutes and you've changed it so,uh, of course it is bleeding.
So, this time you got two stickers and a toy from the toy drawer for your troubles.
You seemed happy enough about it in the end.
This one came by order of the Cleft Dentist, Dr. Kennedy.
Turns out that there was an abscess on your tooth and when Dr. Defeo pulled your lip up to show me, there was a white pustule at the fold of your gums where your lip and gums come together. It looked painful. She said that it sometimes happens when the tooth has decay but the adult canines start to push down on the tooth and the roots start to erode (which is normal). That canine had already started to wiggle anyway.
You got a big shot with a big needle and you got all nervous and agitated but afterwards, you laughed about how your mouth felt bit but it didn't look big.
The more language you get, the more you complain, too. Instead of sitting still, you moaned and groaned like this was your first time going through it. The only thing that I can think of is that you are more comfortable with me and are no longer afraid that if you start to make noise that we won't love you or that we will send you back to China. But I did remind you that it was no different than the first few times when you didn't make any noise at all. So, I told you to suck it up or it was gonna hurt worse - which the doctor also confirmed. "Don't move, Jasper..."
After I dropped you off from school, the school nurse called and about 10 minutes later and told me that it was "bleeding considerably." Uh, he got his tooth pulled. Keep the gauze in. She said she had already changed it. So I told her that it was not supposed to be disturbed for 15 minutes and obviously it wasn't 15 minutes and you've changed it so,uh, of course it is bleeding.
So, this time you got two stickers and a toy from the toy drawer for your troubles.
You seemed happy enough about it in the end.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Golf
I remember once when you wanted to turn the channel because it was on golf and you thought it was boring. Unfortunately, Daddy was watching and you got a pretty good lecture about how just because you thought something was boring didn't mean that everyone else thought so. And of course, I was pretty appalled because you has no respect and because you had forgotten your rank in the family. LOL. At least until another "youngest member" joins the family. LOL. If ever. Haha!
Anyway, you discovered that golf is pretty interesting when you're there watching in person.
We went to Muirfield for The Memorial Tournament. We got there 2 or 3 days later than usual which is a good thing. We basically followed KJ Choi, which meant that you walked all over a very hilly golf course. According to my calculations you walked anywhere between five and seven miles a day. And that doesn't include the running around you did off the course.
And you were well rewarded by getting three balls from KJ Choi and one from DJ Trahan. Ok. So DJ Trahan was way down the list but he made the cut which means something. And KJ? Well he's a great golfer. He won the tournament one year! And of course, Mama and Baba immediately took the ball from you for safe keeping. LOL. And when you said you wanted to play with them, we gave you the hairy eyeball. LOL.
You were also very good during the trip. You played with Alex and told me that you had a classmate named Alex, too. In fact, she liked you so much that she came back the next day because she wanted to "see the little kid.". LOL. Pretty funny.
And you weren't a bratty little kid. Not that you ever are. In fact, you are pretty "invisible" wherever you go since you are so good and well-behaved. Of course, your good manners make Mama VERY happy! :o))
Hopefully you will like watching golf on TV now. If not, too bad. Because we watch a lot of it! Haha.
Anyway, you discovered that golf is pretty interesting when you're there watching in person.
We went to Muirfield for The Memorial Tournament. We got there 2 or 3 days later than usual which is a good thing. We basically followed KJ Choi, which meant that you walked all over a very hilly golf course. According to my calculations you walked anywhere between five and seven miles a day. And that doesn't include the running around you did off the course.
And you were well rewarded by getting three balls from KJ Choi and one from DJ Trahan. Ok. So DJ Trahan was way down the list but he made the cut which means something. And KJ? Well he's a great golfer. He won the tournament one year! And of course, Mama and Baba immediately took the ball from you for safe keeping. LOL. And when you said you wanted to play with them, we gave you the hairy eyeball. LOL.
You were also very good during the trip. You played with Alex and told me that you had a classmate named Alex, too. In fact, she liked you so much that she came back the next day because she wanted to "see the little kid.". LOL. Pretty funny.
And you weren't a bratty little kid. Not that you ever are. In fact, you are pretty "invisible" wherever you go since you are so good and well-behaved. Of course, your good manners make Mama VERY happy! :o))
Hopefully you will like watching golf on TV now. If not, too bad. Because we watch a lot of it! Haha.
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