Saturday, October 30, 2010

5K

This morning, you ran your first 5k Race.
It was a family affair.
Nai Nai and Ye Ye were there.
Daddy ran with his BAA friends.
And I ran too.

You and I started out together for the first .25 miles.
I could tell you were clearly holding back.
And I noticed you would run ahead a little, look back, stop and wait for me.

I couldn't hold you back.
So I caught up with you and I said, "JJ, you run. Run ahead without Mama."
And you looked at me a little worried and said, "you?"
And I said, "you go run as fast you want to. Just stay with all of the running people. And I will see you when I get to the finish line."
He seemed a little worried but I said,"you can do this. Mama would be so proud."

And so he ran. I watched his form ahead of me. So free and so beautiful. And so soon out of sight. And I cried a small tear thinking about it.

My first motherly act.
Amazing.
Letting you go and watching you run ahead.
While worrying about you.
This came out of the blue.
And I thought of the future when I would have to release you to High School, to driving, first dance, first drink, to college, to your bride, and God willing that I should be alive, to your first child. I thought of all the firsts to come and felt a lump in my throat.

You met me at the finish with Nai Nai and Ye Ye.

At the end you won the 19yrs and under age group award for First Place.

I was so proud.

Love,
Mama

No comments: