11/07/2009: Assaulting the Thousand Senses

So, today was an understatement assault. If were had a thousand senses, they would have died.

Today was Clinic Day. This means JJ got his American Consulate physical. Simple, right? Yah. That shows what I didn't know.

First, we had agreed to meet the Guides on the second floor last night. I repeated it twice. Joseph, JJ and I are there at the appointed time and waited. Wait wait wait. Almost 40 minutes go by. I am frantic. I am looking around while Joseph and JJ stand at the appointed spot. I run too the business center, then I run down stairs into a side entrance which I didn't even know existed if I hadn't see a sign that said, "Tour Bus Entrance." I was slowly getting pissed off. Then Joseph's mom, who was having breakfast, saw one of the guides wandering around the ground floor in the breakfast area and brought her to us! This was after we had checked in the business center, the restaurant, out front down the stairs and around the side, rinse, repeat. Twice. The minute I saw her, I showed her how pissed off I was. I mean, she said to "meet here! Why wasn't she here? On time? " Sorry sorry.... "Yah, right. Whatever."

So finally, we headed out on foot and walked to the clinic. Nice walk. Guangzhou is green, I thought. Lots of small shops and parks and about 10 couples in the same colored, similar styled, wedding dresses with grooms to be and professional photographers in tow, posing in a high style manner that you see in magazines. In fact, that is how all of the Chinese women pose. It's amazing. I was thinking something sarcastic but decided to be kind.

This clinic was... well... a clinic. The kind you think about in some backward, tropical island. A non-descript building with the universal cross sign for medical and a bustling interior.

First, we sat and waited. We watch a lot of things going on while we waited and waited. Then it started. TB test - read the paperwork, oops, next xrays, pay money, then pay more money, ENT, height, weight, check out the scar on his chest, etc etc etc. Through it all, JJ was a trooper. I would say that he actually enjoyed himself. And he kept asking for a shot. We had to tell him, "NO SHOT! GAH!". He got the message after the Mean Mommy Moment Number 2 (not that we are counting or anything, hehe). Jeez. What kinda kid wants a shot? But you could tell he was used to the doctors. He was on the table or had his shirt up without being told. He knew what to do. Maybe he was trying to show how good he was and how brave he is. Bute let me just say that he has to learn when we say something once, I don't expect you to insist just to show how brave you are.

Then we had another slow walk back to the hotel. Right through the greenery and the sea of brides in champagne-colored princess dresses. At least we walked. It was good to get some exercise in.

JJ found a friend. The 9 yo boy from the Lost Family. He is blond and beautiful. Of course every Chinese person wanted to have their picture taken with him. It was a very slow walk back to the hotel. And even though a few times JJ was in the picture, a couple of times, they gently pushed him to the side because they only want the Lost Family Boy. I wonder what JJ thought of that! Never like the present to learn that you are not the center of attention all the time. HAH!

Then it was paperwork time. At 12:30pm we met. We got back to the hotel around noon. Hmm. No lunch. Okie. We didn't get started until around 1pm. In a hotel room 4 doors down from ours. Good grief. Just to set the stage... hypoglycemia .... Yah.

Let met tell you about the cluster that it was. The two guides were there with about 7 families. Instead of going over each paper, filling out each line, the guide just sort of went along, giving us a bit to fill in the blanks and then moved on. Even if we weren't ready. So she would have to go back and repeat herself, thus ensuring that even those who were ahead got confused.

And how many times do they have to say "you're filling this in as if you were your child" before people stop asking whose address they write in or whose birthday?? My patience was running out of battery.

And some of us had downloaded an old form. Do you think they had any spares? Uh. Of course not. That would have made sense!! Anyhow, we managed to get through it. Paperwork is hard and harrying. You have to get it right or the American Consulate is unhappy. And of course, for someone like me, it was a hair-raising experience. I sat with a nuclear science person from MIT and another guy who seemed very organized and we kept giving each other the raised eyebrows.

And at one point there was an Asian woman, who was traveling alone, who was like "blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda" throughout the process. And then she'd ask the same stupid questions and I am thinking "if you just shut the hell up, you'd know where we are! ARG!!!!!"

And of course she was "Hague," which meant a completely different set of paperwork and she says "well, I don't work. And we are adopting based on my husband's salary, and ummm.. How about 450 or 500k? Blah blah blah.". What an eyeroller. The three of us sitting together just rolled our eyes. Does she even realized that some people (possibly in the room) may have had to scrape to be able to adopt? Well, no wonder she doesn't work. She's an idiot. I was so annoyed.

So she didn't shut up and at one point, I looked across the room and said, "I hate to be a downer but, um, can we have one conversation so that it's not confusing and we can move this along?"

Then the paperwork was done and wo tou tong (I had a headache)! Of course it was around 2:15 and I was totally hypoglycemic.

After lunch, Wayne (who had flown in from the States to be with us this week), decided to test our senses. We walked into Guangzhou "proper" where "the regular people live.". Uhhh... Ok. We basically walked off the island. Shamian Island. Land of the greenery, adoption, cute shops and brides. And we walked into a new meaning for "Teeming Masses." In fact, we walked into a market area with shops of all kinds of things that test your imagination and assault your sense of smell. Scorpions, worms, eels, snakes, good god, bunnies, chickens, goats, good grief, sea worms, silk worm larvae, medicinal roots and hers and animal parts... Ok. I've actually had silk worm larvae before but I don't think I'd do it again.

JJ had his mouth and nose covered with his hands and at one point Joseph says "do you see your son?" Huh? "He's getting sick to his stomach.". Well. He's Chinese, why would he get sick? "The smell." Because he is Chinese?? Really?? I mean, this is CHINA for crying out loud. How can he get suck at the stuff in his own country? Has he never been out of the Orphanage? Doesn't he know his own China? Anyway, regardless... How do I know he's getting sick? I'm Korean! And Koreans don't smell so good!! So we hurried back to Shamian Island, Land of Idyllic Ambiance. And everyone was happy.

We rested in the hotel room before dinner and a doctor traveling with the group came by. We had a nice chat and he examined JJ, declaring him to be fine. I learned a few things about the doctors I need to make appointments with when we get back home. Figures. I should have had some made before going to China. And I got a good idea of what a Pain in the Ass it was going to be when I got back.,

Then to dinner at a place that Wayne had picked out that is about a block from our hotel. This was our first normal sized meal since arriving! Fresh steamed fish, tofu and scallions, egg fried rice, chinese broccoli, a nice bottle of wine, deep friend pumpkin and egg custard. YUMMY!!!

So, our thousand senses were assaulted today. And JJ was the only one who scored - pants, a shirt, and Toy Story 2 video in English with Chinese subtitles.

Ok. That's all. More to come.
I wonder if my wrist hurts because of typing so much.